It just so happens that one of the things frum folks like most about Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah is the davening times competition. However, one of the worst things about living in a small community is that you can’t…
Tag: yom kippur
10 best Kol Nidre Videos
I love Kol Nidre, I love the emotion and the tune is an especially good one that I tend to hum when hiking alone in the high Sierra to ward off the bears. It also happens to be one of…
Rosh Hashanah resolutions
For all I know, this past year was filled with blessing, but it sure started out shitty and on the second night of Rosh Hashanah I finally figured out why. Not only did I have to work on last RH,…
Wave money not chickens!
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Yom Kippur 2012: Maintaining Focus
We begin the prayer services for Yom Kippur with one of the strangest announcements:
Saturday Night Live does Yom Kippur
I had no idea that Ben Stiller wasn’t Jewish – he’s still hilarious.
Is finally starting to “get” Yom Kippur
This year I decided to go into Yom Kippur with an open mind, maybe I could do the communal teshuvah thing after all, maybe I could find some meaning in the text and do proper teshuvah. I just hoped that…
Yom Kippur pickup lines
I don’t know about you, but while I am clopping numerous Al Chaits all I can think about is how I am going to be able to clop the chest of that hottie across the mechitza and it’s so God…
Have you ever done a Ta’anis Dibbur?
The other night, my facebook status read as follows: May actually do a Ta’anis Dibbur this year because shul for me is one long running commentary on how much this sucks. Of course, someone had to get offended and claim…
Yom Kippur Rant
I would love to spend Yom Kippur in the woods, every year I have the same debate and every year my yetzer tov or yiras shamayim takes the form of “dude are you f–cking nuts” and I shoot down the…
For Vegans the high holidays pose some problems
Being a vegan Jew most of the year doesn’t pose to many problems, many Vegans may refrain from putting on tefillin or using animal skins to make their Torahs and Mezuzot, but these are minor issues that never really conflict…
Kittels are great for hiding those random shul boners
I know, it’s right after Yom Kippur and already I’m talking about sex, but someone asked me to write about what fun stuff you could do with a kittel and there’s nothing more fun then getting an unexplained boner in…
Yom Kippur Rocked!
At last minute I changed my plans for Yom Kippur, I had to be at work late on Friday and decided to daven with the Jewish Study Network, AKA Bay Area Community Kollel, AKA get as many kids to go…
Kol Nidre is the chazzan’s world series
There are dozens of kol nidre videos on You Tube, here are some interesting one’s for your enjoyment.
Yom Kippur Devar Torah
A few days ago, Heshy commented (satirically, I might add) about trying to do teshuva for things that he knew he wouldn’t stop doing and perhaps couldn’t even wait to begin doing again. I find that this perception is quite…
Hilarious Yom Kippur ecard
Much thanks to Katia on Facebook for sending me this hilarious yom kippur ecard sorry about the language – I swear it was the yetzer harah.
High Holiday and Succot Pickup Lines
The high holidays are full of innuendo, so much that I feel I must repost my high holiday pickup lines with new twists every year. Who can resist with all that shofar blowing, chest clopping and aleinu bowing – besides…
Non-traditional foods for some funny yehi-ratzon’s
I have no idea if Dov Bear is a funny guy or not, heck I don’t actually know if he’s a guy or not, he could be transgendered, a girl or even a robot for all we know, for unlike…
Most Illicit thoughts on Yom Kippur
I always say that during musaf of Yom Kippur is when the dirtiest most whacked out thoughts come into my head. All the lady “experiences” of the past year shuffle through as if they were taunting me and all of…
Letters to the editor: When did kittels become so gay?
Sent Anonymously so his daughters can still get a good shidduch I was in Yeshiva early on Yom Kippur morning, getting a jump on my davening, and started noticing guys putting on their Kittels, when it struck me, “when did…
My first meaningful Yom Kippur
For many people including me Yom Kippur is one of the most dreaded days of the year. As someone who can’t even sit through all of shul on shabbos, Yom Kippur is one of the closest things to hell on…
The best ways to mess with BT’s on Yom Kippur
I think I may have to do short lists for every holiday, because messing with BT’s rocks and makes the time go by quicker.Check out the original Messing with BT’s and the Rosh Hashana/YK/Succos edition Messing with Baal Teshuvas on…
13 reasons why I love the high holidays
I love the high holidays, not because I get to repent for sins and feel even worse after repenting because God knows I lied, and not because of all the girls I pick up at Yizkor and not even because…
Two Scenarios in Which I Meet God (After 120 Years)
Children, children! Yom Kippur is coming and we all owe the Oibeshter a little something. Maybe you spoke loshon hara, chas v’sholom, maybe you brushed your teeth too hard on Shabbos and caused yourself to bleed, or maybe you had…
Best ways to mess with BT’s during the High Holidays
Sequel to the original Best ways to mess with BT’s post. Tell them that you cannot eat anything on succos resembling an etrog for fear of eating the actual etrog; Tell them that they must not sleep at all on…