Tag: telz angel

Customs for the menuvalim this holiday.

Merry ChanOOka. The following customs apply during this festive week. We call viagra pills “dreidels” since by both we say nes gadol hayah sham. Some are makpid to use massage oil before intimate moments. For those who are careful to wrap, remember that olive…

Not Safe For Kashrus (NSFK)

The Star K joined a collection of no-name hechsherim in creating a new criteria for gaining kashrut status. Brands must have an SFK name.  As this photo shows, you can even get a hechsher on bacon donuts, you just need…

Why Rabbi Avi Weiss is Wrong

Logic, that’s what it is. Rabbi Avi Weiss explains the logic behind his ordination of women to be halachic authorities and leaders. In this post I’m going to expose the flaws in his argument and prove to you why you should…

Foil the NSA with these Kippot

The gedolim were right all along. The Internet should be assur! Nothing good comes from it. It is full of depravity, impurity, and lust-invoking materials. It’s even worse than we thought. According to recent reports, the government knows all the…

The Great Minyan Day.

It’s about two weeks before Pesach and Rabbis across the country are emailing their shul members with the chometz sales forms. I’m not going to poke fun at the whole business of “selling” chometz, since we’ve pretty much accepted this…

Money Making Faux-Mishloash Manot

The president of my shul called me this evening, furious that I did not participate in the shul’s mishloach manot program. “Reb Telz” he says “Why are you not on the list?  We are packing the bags, reviewing the mailed-in…

What I expect in 2013

After writing my why it sucked to be frum in 2012, I felt bad.  What if 2013 could be better for the frum wold? What would happen to us? Here are things I expect to happen in the frum world…

From the Search Committee

Dear shul-goers of America, As you know, the Young Israel of Brooktown, MA is looking for a new rabbi. Our current marah d’asra is making aliyah after nearly 30 years of dedicated service to the community. We have an active…

Giving a helping paw.

Aside from FrumSatire’s  recent “no new blog post crisis” in our community, there have been many other problems we have been dealing with over the past few weeks. Probably nothing greater than last week’s storm. I myself am still suffering the…

Algorithms to the rescue.

How often do you find yourself in the situation where you are on a flight across timezones and you just don’t know exactly when to daven. Sure you could fudge it by calculating the approximate time, but what if you…