I’ve gotten this picture from several folks and I just don’t understand what the big deal is? I think it’s like anything most of the klal is not used to and would be the same response toward any mitzvah in…
Tag: succos
People who believe in Jesus are crazy
Logic is the third rail of religion. – HaRav Rachmuna Litzlon If I had a dime for every time someone told me that other religions besides Judaism were insane, I’d be able to afford organic tomatoes. It probably started in…
Is succos supposed to be this comfortable?
I don’t mean to offend all of those folks who hosted us with sturdy, wide, ultra-comfortable sukkah’s we ate in, but last night we had a meal in the only “real sukkah” of the first days of succos. It was…
Liberal Jews say you must use an organic lulav and etrog
Irreligious liberal Jews are up in arms over the fact that most of the arba minim being used for succos are not grown organically or sustainably, they are a plight upon the land and doing a mitzvah with something that…
Strange and random conversation
This is an experiment….tonight I’ve been having a conversation with old friends about a lot of random topics and I wanted to see if I could just put them on paper.Soc much more was said, but like all good conversations…
Haven’t we learned anything from Rubashkin
Rabbosy, I am speaking to you today about a dangerous ailment that effects the frum community each year around Succos time. As we all know, our dear gadol Harav Shalom Rubashkin shlita has been ruined by an anti-Semitic decree against…
Succos 2011
“Achas sha’alti me’es Hashem osa avakesh shivti b’veis Hashem kol y’mei chayai lachazos b’noam Hashem u’levaker b’hechalo,” “One thing I asked of God — it is this that I seek: to dwell in the house of God all the days…
I’m already regretting coming to New York for succos
By the time you read this I will be suffering through a flight from San Francisco to New York…. I’m already regretting my choice to leave this paradise I live in, it may be raining outside at the moment, but…
Succos in New York is rained out
One of the things I wanted to see on my trip to New York was rain, Northern California weather is what we east coasters may call paradise. It hasn’t rained since the winter, which ended in March and I felt…
Kittels are great for hiding those random shul boners
I know, it’s right after Yom Kippur and already I’m talking about sex, but someone asked me to write about what fun stuff you could do with a kittel and there’s nothing more fun then getting an unexplained boner in…
Get your esrog insurance here
Thanks to Laura who found this on Col Live This comment from the post is priceless: last year i bought an esrog for abt 450 it was a very nice looking one and since i spent so much money i…
Making reservations for succos this year
Making Reservations for Succos this Year. Guest post by Telz Angel Things are getting pretty interesting in this town of Shaker Flats, MN. My favorite shul, Congregation Eruv Rav, invited all shul members, and especially the children in the community,…
Enough with the Lulav sex jokes
Everyone knows that the whole point of the lulav ritual was to test us, we come out of Yom Kippur with a clean slate and God wanted to see what he could do to shlug us up (don’t get me…
Letters to the editor: When did kittels become so gay?
Sent Anonymously so his daughters can still get a good shidduch I was in Yeshiva early on Yom Kippur morning, getting a jump on my davening, and started noticing guys putting on their Kittels, when it struck me, “when did…
How to shake a lulav
Bio-engineers caught making esrogim with unusually weak pitoms
A ring of bio engineers has been discovered to be a part of a major Esrog scam by authorities in Israel. Information about Esrogim bought in Brooklyn containing unusually weak pitoms led authorities to make the bust of these men…
Video of me Lulav and Etrog shopping in Crown Heights
Matthue Roth of My Jewish Learning asked me if I would go lulav and esrog shopping in Crown Heights so they could make a fun video showing what it entails. It allowed me to seriously mess with some people, and…
Best ways to mess with BT’s during the High Holidays
Sequel to the original Best ways to mess with BT’s post. Tell them that you cannot eat anything on succos resembling an etrog for fear of eating the actual etrog; Tell them that they must not sleep at all on…
How do shake your lulav? (video)
For all of you who don’t already know- I have an extensive collection of my own videos as well as my favorites on You Tube. To see my most popular videos- go to You Tube page and click on “most…
Hoshana Rabba Hilarity
We shake our lulavs for 7 days straight and then we bang our hoshanas for 3 seconds. I thought of that while I was banging my hoshanos this morning and thought it to be pretty damn sexual, that the climax…