When I used to be employed as a professional shabbos guest I never realized why people were so happy see me. I was brash, smelled terribly, and was always making some sort of comment that offended the wife, yet I…
Tag: shabbos
Can porn save shabbos?
Hey Hesh, I have an interesting situation I thought I’d share with you. A friend of mine recently admitted to me that he breaks shabbos to look at porn on the internet. I was a bit shocked that someone could…
Do you actually know the people in your community?
I heard recently that one of the members of my shul, who I’ve known for years is a heavily into gardening, a bit of a fascination of my own. Then I learned that another fellow is into modifying trucks and…
The muktza song
It escapes me as to who sent me this, I like it and I finally found the time to share it with you folks. find out more on 4torah.com
10 most embarrassing moments as a shabbos guest or host
One of the perks of being frum is being a shabbos guest or host on a frequent basis. I’m not sure that other religions or people are as open as those in the Orthodox world. I’ve had loads of BT’s…
My Glorious Washing Station and Why You Should All Be Envious
by The Mrs. With regard to frumkeit, before you completely write off Northern California, consider my glorious washing sink. Actually, consider my whole apartment, which was undeniably built for a Jew. The back patio is large and sukkah-ready, the tile…
Shabbos Toilet Paper
For the first time in my life I was assigned the task of cutting toilet paper for shabbos. In my modern orthodox youth we used tissues and it wasn’t until years later that I heard of cutting toilet paper on…
How does your community deal with Nebach’s?
I was walking home Friday night and I noticed that one of the Nebs of our shul was walking home without a meal, I immediately rushed down the street to grab him. One of the people who were coming to…
Could there ever be an Off The Derech shul?
There’s an article in the USA Today about Atheist Megachurches that basically take all the fun things that large Churches offer and leave God out of the equation. Sounds like fun, except I’m not sure how it works when they…
Would you break shabbos for $1000?
I always figured that the Off The Derech community was immune to scandal, after all many of the members had left Orthodoxy due to the hypocrisy perpetuated on a daily basis by its leaders. Yet, they are prone to the…
Makom Kavua Wars
For the second shabbos in a row my seat in shul was taken, in fact it’s been taken all week and I kind of want to walk up to the guy who’s decided to commandeer it and ask him when…
I miss the Cholent Moshpit
There are certian things I miss about the east coast, shoving matches at kiddush is one of them. In my shul, everyone waits for the Rabbi or whoever sponsored kiddush to make kiddush, I hate that. People are way too…
Has anyone ever tried to steal your shabbos guests?
I had a run in with shabbos guest theft for the first time this past shabbos, one of the fellows staying at my house knew someone at shul and that someone tried to steal him away. Instead of getting violent…
10 ways to know you’re in a Modern Orthodox shul without going into shul
Anyone with a kindergarten level of Jewish education can tell they’re in a modern orthodox shul, the mechitza, the seating style, the siddurim, the flags, there are literally dozens of ways to tell. However, being able to tell you’re in…
The secrets of frum hospitality
By Chaya Miriam Fried I don’t know if you ever got a chance to stay at a Marriott Hotel, but they have their signature (l’havdil) Book of Mormon and copy of the Gideon Bible in every room (at least I…
Shalosh Seuda doesn’t have to suck
The shaloshudos (the third meal, aka seudat shlishit for the Hebrew inclined) of my youth was finely a pretty gross affair, ice cream scoops of mass produced, aged, tuna fish and egg salad. Dry egg challah rolls that were rarely…
10 things that don’t lead to mixed dancing
People like to claim that anything that isn’t super frum leads to mixed dancing, but I fervently disagree with this projection. Yes, having a low mechitza at a shul with a woman rabbi doing a Carlebach shabbos while high on…
The Tyranny of Hagbah
The Tyranny of Hagbah Guest Post by Charles Zucker No bully has ever kicked sand in my face. And though I was never a 97-pound weakling I am now a slightly doughy, 200ish pound weakling. I only have two fears:…
10 Things I hate most about Modern Orthodox shuls
There’s really so much to hate about davening in Modern Orthodox shuls, once you get past the joys of the super low mechitza and interesting reading materials in the library, the sad truths hit you all at once. The low…
The great kugel debate: Is it cake or kugel?
Since food is one of the most important aspects of the frum community, it’s no wonder that the great kugel vs. cake debate is alive and well in many parts of the frum community. In the mid 90’s, the latest…
The milchigs on shabbos conundrum
Background story: I hate to admit it, but the frum Jews on the West Coast don’t really know how to practice real frumkeit. They have created this hybrid based on their little exposure to Chabad, local community kollel rabbis and…
Should shuls be welcoming places?
I used to judge a shuls friendliness factor purely based on the amount of meal invites I received during davening. I used to come on in take a seat and literally wait for people to come up to me to…
Using my expert mooching skills for good
If there’s one thing I’m good at life, it’s getting shabbos meals, break-fast meals, shabbos leftovers, places to sleep in far flung towns and a variety of other freebees given to frum Jews who know how to mooch. I’m not…
Why on earth does shabbos davening take 3 hours?
People were literally freaking out yesterday, you see, the regular old Modern Orthodox shul in San Francisco ended shabbos morning davening at 11:15 instead of the MO regulation time of 12pm. It seemed that the opinion swayed toward “what’s the…
I found some yeshivish people in the Bay Area
Upon finishing shemona esrei I saw something that I haven’t seen in a long time. There was a fellow with his hat pushed back high in his head, doing the full on fist pump shuckel. It appeared that he was…