It just so happens that one of the things frum folks like most about Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah is the davening times competition. However, one of the worst things about living in a small community is that you can’t…
Tag: Rosh Hashanah
Rosh Hashanah resolutions
For all I know, this past year was filled with blessing, but it sure started out shitty and on the second night of Rosh Hashanah I finally figured out why. Not only did I have to work on last RH,…
I have offended you, it was probably on purpose
It seems that I may have offended more people than usual this year, I’m judging purely based on the lack of annoying phone calls, emails, and facebook messages from people I don’t really care about. I’d also like to attribute…
Am I really being honored
I got an email from the shul last night, informing me that I was to be honored with gelilah for the second Torah on the second day of Rosh Hashanah. Being the cynical conspiracy theorist that I am, I immediately…
Rabosai it’s Elul!!!
I thought when I left yeshiva I would never have to hear those words screamed at me again, yet every week for the entire Elul (and during the week too if I make it to shul) I’ve been getting Elul…
For Vegans the high holidays pose some problems
Being a vegan Jew most of the year doesn’t pose to many problems, many Vegans may refrain from putting on tefillin or using animal skins to make their Torahs and Mezuzot, but these are minor issues that never really conflict…
What kind of machzor do you use?
Search for machzors on 4torah.com
Beautiful Shema Koleinu
Just wandering around You Tube and I found this gem. search for chazzanus on 4torah.com
When you leave yeshiva, Rosh Hashanah just sneaks up on you
Just last week I was starting to figure out what I was going to do for Rosh Hashanah, when someone mentioned that it was next week, I had no idea, like in the past dozen years since I have left…
Can a woman blow the shofar?
The following is a conversation that happened at kiddush this past shabbos – I tried desperately to keep from laughing and spitting my cholent everywhere, so instead I laughed inside and kept to my straight and mature face. “Hey rabbi…
Aish uses boy band breakdancing video to reel in those BT’s
I’m not too impressed with the stuff Aish puts out for it’s baal teshuva indoctrination video channel on you tube that shows you can be frum and with it, but I do admit that the Rosh Hashanah Rock anthem video…
Shofar Flash mob in San Francisco
I still haven’t exactly figured out what a flash mob is, a bunch of people around the world doing something in public at the same time – so is every person in the world riding a bike or walking down…
Kittels are great for hiding those random shul boners
I know, it’s right after Yom Kippur and already I’m talking about sex, but someone asked me to write about what fun stuff you could do with a kittel and there’s nothing more fun then getting an unexplained boner in…
High Holiday and Succot Pickup Lines
The high holidays are full of innuendo, so much that I feel I must repost my high holiday pickup lines with new twists every year. Who can resist with all that shofar blowing, chest clopping and aleinu bowing – besides…
Non-traditional foods for some funny yehi-ratzon’s
I have no idea if Dov Bear is a funny guy or not, heck I don’t actually know if he’s a guy or not, he could be transgendered, a girl or even a robot for all we know, for unlike…
One of the more interesting Rosh Hashanah’s
Several months ago a friend of mine called me up and asked if I could hook him up with a place for Rosh Hashanah in San Francisco that was open with the idea of him leaving after yuntiff (yom tov)…
What is Teshuvah?
A Guest Post By E. Fink (Original Post: Essay: What is Teshuva and How Does It Work in Judaism?) As we approach the Jewish New Year there is an effort to at least attempt to enter Rosh Hashanah clean from…
Before Rosh Hashanah I hope you will forgive me
Traditionally before Rosh Hashanah people in yeshiva go around and ask everyone to forgive them, they say the words “hey man you mochel me?” and with one or two words “yeh sure, whatever” you are free from all the ways…
Do you get the High Holiday blues?
I never really liked the high holidays, I love succos, but when it came to Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, I would always fall flat on face and wonder how I the ultimate sinner could approach the lord and ask…
Letters to the editor: When did kittels become so gay?
Sent Anonymously so his daughters can still get a good shidduch I was in Yeshiva early on Yom Kippur morning, getting a jump on my davening, and started noticing guys putting on their Kittels, when it struck me, “when did…
13 reasons why I love the high holidays
I love the high holidays, not because I get to repent for sins and feel even worse after repenting because God knows I lied, and not because of all the girls I pick up at Yizkor and not even because…
Shana Tova – Happy New Year to you all!!!
With so much negativity in the talkback section of my blog lately I find it kind of strange to be wishing you a happy new year, but after looking at my stats for the last few weeks, I realize that…
The countdown to the Jewish ball drop
Benji Lovitt of What War Zone a great blog that brings a little humor to middle east, brings us another funny Rosh Hashanah video – dude I love how you got all those hot girls to talk to the camera.
Best ways to mess with BT’s during the High Holidays
Sequel to the original Best ways to mess with BT’s post. Tell them that you cannot eat anything on succos resembling an etrog for fear of eating the actual etrog; Tell them that they must not sleep at all on…
Ever do teshuvah on the plane?
I used to fly back forth from yeshiva quite a bit, flights were cheaper then the train and every time we had an out shabbos quite a few of us yeshiva guys- sometimes filling more then half of the small…