After Yanky and Shloime had fasted for 12 hours, put the half-shekel in the pushka, davened mincha, took a nap so they would have energy to dance all night, ran to the liquor store before it closed so they can…
Tag: purim
Do you have megillah attention deficit disorder?
Everyone does…but in this rant I also go through the lack of homemade hamentaschen and the fact that when they are homemade, the dough to jelly ration is too high. All along the secret to good hamentaschen was butter, but…
Inebriation caused me to finally figure out the Purim story
One would think that my favorite holiday is Purim, but sadly it isn’t. In fact, Purim is one of my least favorite holidays. I don’t like the long drawn out readings of the megillah, I hate going to communal purim…
Shalach Manos databases other abuses of Purim.
Purim. A story that features mass rape, including the fortunate(?!) rape of the one Jewish girl, named after the Mesopotamian goddess of sex, Ishtar. Her uncle, named after the Babylonian god Marduk, accomplish the great feat of almost saving the…
Dov Hikind and the overblown liberal media reaction
Truth be told I didn’t really see what the big deal was with Dov Hikind’s costume, those black people need to calm the F down. Why does everything need to be so politically correct these days, it’s not like we…
Are you having the Purim Blues? I’m just not in the Purim mood
I have the Purim blues, it crept up on me like it always does, but this year more than ever I’m just not in the mood for Purim. I’m not sad or anything, in fact I’m quite happy with my…
Best purim video
NSFW – hat tip to Rachmuna
Money Making Faux-Mishloash Manot
The president of my shul called me this evening, furious that I did not participate in the shul’s mishloach manot program. “Reb Telz” he says “Why are you not on the list? We are packing the bags, reviewing the mailed-in…
Why do purim shpiels suck so much?
So naturally around purim time I get sent a lot of purim shpiel videos and this year they have sucked more than ever. After watching so many of these shpiels, most of which took time to think up and produce,…
Purim I
R’ Daniel Z. Feldman tells a story about Disney’s Aladdin being shown at NCSY Kollel once upon a time around Purim, and here’s the Dvar Torah that was told at the time:
Drinking on purim helps with kavannah during davening
Drinking on Purim By OfftheDwannaB You might not know this, but the holiday of Purim is traditionally a good day for davening. This is because the salvation that came about only happened after the Jews got together and prayed. Now,…
Purim aint what it used to be
I have heard warnings from multiple people never to have sex while on E (ecstasy) because you will never enjoy sex again, I think purim is the same way, ever since leaving yeshiva – Purim hasn’t been the same. For…
Yeshiva Memories: Purim
There were endless bottles of wine at the table and a keg of beer in the kitchen, red cups filled with beer were passed around, but nobody seemed to want any. I was at a college purim seuda and no…
Merry Purim To All
I don’t know where this picture came from, but it’s doing the email rounds. If anyone has any background on who took it, pass the word to me and I’ll give due attribution (and either a high five or an…
Purim Shpiels I like
Purim Shpiels are a dime a dozen, and most of them suck, I happened to like the following one – click the more tag to see one of my favorite Purim Shpiels on You Tube.
What non-Jews may think of some Jewish rituals
I wrote this post last night and just this morning I received word that a flight was diverted from New York to Philly because some kid decided to whip out his tefillin, and some folks thought it was a bomb.…
Are you anti drinking on purim?
For some reason I find that when it comes to drinking on purim, it is usually the modern orthodox and non-observant Jews that are anti the practice. This seems to be the case, in fact I have never really met…
Do you give strategic mishloach manot?
Strategy for shalach manos is as follows. You either give to someone you know is going to give you more return, like a trade deficit, or you give to someone you know will invite you to eat something or look…
What did you do for Purim?
Last years Purim kind of sucked because it was on a Friday, I spent it at my cousins in Monsey and as usual it was fun but not as fun as my yeshiva days, in fact Purim just hasn’t been…
Charedim ban the story of Esther
Vos Iz Neias reported earlier in the day that many folks in the Charedi “frummer than you” movements have decided to stop telling the story of Esther because its simply untznius. They have debated this issue for years, but only…
Is it tznius for women to wear purim costumes?
Once again I have to hand it to the Yeshiva World News coffee room for entertaining and enraging me at the same time. They do a great job at finding people who think that all the evils of this generation…
Ever have an awkward shalach manos experience?
I can remember my dad cursing under his breath as he wondered how best to react to a surprise shalach manos basket, this was in the days before we would prepare and have “spare” shalach manos for those who gave…
What do you dress up as for Purim?
I don’t really dress up for purim, it just seems like to much work and then I can never find something good enough anyway. For the last couple of years I dressed up as a redneck, I am kind of…
Do you suffer from megillah attendion deficit disorder?
As you can see I am not really writing anything this week – I am in transit so until I settle down I will post my lazy stuff. I have loads of post ideas, just been busy with the move.…