It’s the day after, we are tired. The Sukkah is put away (I hope). We survived Tishrei, barely. And for the first time in a month, we’ll have a regular work week . But what to do with the arba…
Tag: lulav
People who believe in Jesus are crazy
Logic is the third rail of religion. – HaRav Rachmuna Litzlon If I had a dime for every time someone told me that other religions besides Judaism were insane, I’d be able to afford organic tomatoes. It probably started in…
Liberal Jews say you must use an organic lulav and etrog
Irreligious liberal Jews are up in arms over the fact that most of the arba minim being used for succos are not grown organically or sustainably, they are a plight upon the land and doing a mitzvah with something that…
Lulav shopping in NY
Get your esrog insurance here
Thanks to Laura who found this on Col Live This comment from the post is priceless: last year i bought an esrog for abt 450 it was a very nice looking one and since i spent so much money i…
Enough with the Lulav sex jokes
Everyone knows that the whole point of the lulav ritual was to test us, we come out of Yom Kippur with a clean slate and God wanted to see what he could do to shlug us up (don’t get me…
What non-Jews may think of some Jewish rituals
I wrote this post last night and just this morning I received word that a flight was diverted from New York to Philly because some kid decided to whip out his tefillin, and some folks thought it was a bomb.…
How to shake a lulav
Video of me Lulav and Etrog shopping in Crown Heights
Matthue Roth of My Jewish Learning asked me if I would go lulav and esrog shopping in Crown Heights so they could make a fun video showing what it entails. It allowed me to seriously mess with some people, and…
Best ways to mess with BT’s during the High Holidays
Sequel to the original Best ways to mess with BT’s post. Tell them that you cannot eat anything on succos resembling an etrog for fear of eating the actual etrog; Tell them that they must not sleep at all on…
How do shake your lulav? (video)
For all of you who don’t already know- I have an extensive collection of my own videos as well as my favorites on You Tube. To see my most popular videos- go to You Tube page and click on “most…
Hoshana Rabba Hilarity
We shake our lulavs for 7 days straight and then we bang our hoshanas for 3 seconds. I thought of that while I was banging my hoshanos this morning and thought it to be pretty damn sexual, that the climax…
I would rather stomachs poking me then lulavs
A protruding stomach covered in the smooth material of a bekishe bumped into me, and begged me to push the line a long. The Rabbi announced that everyone should push the tables against the bima so that people could make…
How do you shake your lulav?
So there you are standing in shull about to shake your lulav and boom you notice the guy in front of you shaking it a different way then you tend to shake, sizing him up quickly with his gray beard…