Guest post by Eliyahu Fink Last week, a friend of mine asked his Facebook friends if Santa Claus was mechuyav to go to Church on Christmas. I answered “oisek b’mitzvah patur min hamitzvah”. That question and answer spawned an idea…
Tag: holidays
The Idiots guide to Shavuot
Guest post by Israeli Comedian Benji Lovitt “You shall count for yourselves — from the day after the Shabbat, from the day when you bring the Omer of the waving — seven Shabbats, they shall be complete. Until the day…
Purim aint what it used to be
I have heard warnings from multiple people never to have sex while on E (ecstasy) because you will never enjoy sex again, I think purim is the same way, ever since leaving yeshiva – Purim hasn’t been the same. For…
Tu B’Shvat – the least celebrated Jewish holiday
If my dear friend Gary Levine wouldn’t have sent me an awfully hippie Tu B’shvat text message yesterday there is no way I would have known it was time for the holiday of the trees. It just so happens to…
What kind of Thanksgiving Jew are you?
The Thanksgiving Yid guest post by Duby Litvin Ahh Thanksgiving….. such a warm and fuzzy time of year. The day we stuff our faces, wear stretchy pants and eat doubles and thirds even after the buttons on our shirt have…
Davening Importance Paradox
Being in shul so much over the past week or so, I noticed something really strange that I’ve never noticed before — and I’d like to call it the “importance paradox.” It seems that some of the most important prayers…
Shavuos thoughts
One of my status updates on facebook yesterday was that I was wondering what to write about for Shavuos. One of the people responded that I should write about how wonderful it was to come to shul to see everyone…
Merry Purim To All
I don’t know where this picture came from, but it’s doing the email rounds. If anyone has any background on who took it, pass the word to me and I’ll give due attribution (and either a high five or an…
What are you doing for Christmas?
What are you doing for Christmas or erev-Christmas? I get that question all the time from Jews, and until recently I never really thought about it. Should Jews celebrate Christmas? It doesn’t make much sense to me.
The countdown to the Jewish ball drop
Benji Lovitt of What War Zone a great blog that brings a little humor to middle east, brings us another funny Rosh Hashanah video – dude I love how you got all those hot girls to talk to the camera.
Finding the right shul on Tisha B’av
Finding the right shul to go for Tisha B’av can make your fast an easy and memorable one, while winding up at the wrong shul may arguably be the best way to remember how much we suffered at the hands…
Confusing parts of davening
Where the hell are we is all I can think about during kedusha for musaf. I know it by heart, but once we get to the end I am lost. This year I just laughed about it, seems that I’m…
Yom Haatzmaut Thoughts
The best thing about forgetting Yom Haatzmaut is that if you miss Hallel its really not such a big deal. I never really understood how people who don’t even daven on a regular basis would preach the Hallel thing and…
How do you un-celebrate non-Jewish holidays?
At one time or another some of you converters (not the DC to AC types) have asked me how to un-celebrate non-Jewish holidays and I really have no idea how. After all, I grew up frum and never tried to…
Kohanim remind me of zombies
In the middle of birchas kohanim this year I burst out laughing, to myself of course, but I started recalling all of the zombie movies I have seen in my life while glancing up at the few kohanim standing at…
Do you get the Pesach seder blues?
I know that Pesach is one of those holidays that many people just love to hate. The cleaning, the constipation and the long drawn out meal which consists of hours of telling the same old divrei torah and stories year…
What do you dress up as for Purim?
I don’t really dress up for purim, it just seems like to much work and then I can never find something good enough anyway. For the last couple of years I dressed up as a redneck, I am kind of…
What are you doing for New Years?
I am doing nothing unless one of the three people my age in Dallas happen to call me up to go out. To me New Years Eve is just like any other night, unless you have a girlfriend, then things…
Christmas Thoughts
If you are offended when people wish you a merry Christmas – I can guaruntee that this post will offend you. You have been warned, enjoy! I went to Wal Mart tonight only to be turned away because it was…
My Thanksgiving meal rocked, how was yours?
I have been in Texas a little over a week and already its growing on me, it may be the phenomenal mountain biking, kick ass skate parks or the fact I haven’t used my horn since I have gotten here-…
Why I don’t celebrate thanksgiving
I know your probably expecting some answer like my Rabbis and pretty much every person in the right wing frum world says “we give thanks every day” but thats not really it. The truth is I am lazy and just…
Best ways to mess with BT’s during the High Holidays
Sequel to the original Best ways to mess with BT’s post. Tell them that you cannot eat anything on succos resembling an etrog for fear of eating the actual etrog; Tell them that they must not sleep at all on…
How do you shake your lulav?
So there you are standing in shull about to shake your lulav and boom you notice the guy in front of you shaking it a different way then you tend to shake, sizing him up quickly with his gray beard…
Why Birnbaum Machzors Rock!!!
It is not because of all the old English translations that turn regular old davening lyrics into Shakespearian plays. Its not the abridged versions of davening that they use, only to tell you to go back to page 357 to…
I can never find my place in Slichos!!!
You know how I can tell the high holiday season is upon us? Besides for the fact that I just clopped my chest a million times asking forgiveness for sins that I don’t even know the meaning to. What the…