Because of its central Silicon Valley location, the shul in Palo Alto gets a lot of visitors, every once in a while I make it to shachris there and have noticed something really interesting. Almost all of these visitors do…
Tag: Hockers
God knew I would hate Far Rockaway
I firmly believe that God knows the future and I’ll tell you how I came to this belief, it all has to do with my father moving to Far Rockway. It’s hard to imagine the horror I felt when my…
Slimy Shmuli: The Hot Chanie Counterpart
Slimy Shmuli: The Hot Chanie Counterpart Guest Post by Talia G. Everyone knows that Hot Chanies are the frum-but-sexy women, mainly based in Flatbush and the 5 Towns, who tend to wear sexy sheitels, tight leather and denim skirts (but…
Hocker Hall of Fame inducts 4 shomrim who were shot
The Hocker Hall of Fame in Boro Park will induct the 4 shomrim who were shot while chasing a perv last night. Apparently the man was caught fondling himself near a girls school and a chase ensued. Then he pulled out…
Stuff Hockers Like
As much as I dislike Hockers, I miss them dearly. Northern California has no real hockers. There are several potential hockers but nothing that truly fits the guy who grew up in Flatbush and dropped out of Touro to become…
Non-generic Jewish sects
Everyone knows the generic Jewish sects, modern orthodox, Chassidic, reform, conservative and so on. What many people don’t know are the different sub groups or ways to call those people that venture a little from the generic categories. Flamers: Usually…
The job opportunities for ex-Yeshiva guys and wannabe hockers
The best thing about being a yeshiva dropout, bum or off the derech kid is that unlike the rest of the population it’s considered perfectly normal to be in college at the age of 25, although these jobs are usually…
Will learn for free food
Its Carlos and Gabbys night at the yeshiva, this usually means high attendance, the people who run the place aren’t stupid. If you want to get some punk ass 15 year old priority one kid in the door on a…
I love my mechanic
Unlike most men who peer longingly under the hood at what makes their cars move, I kind of know what I’m looking at, I can pick out the engine, the air intake, alternator and radiator, but like most men I…
Did your yeshiva have a big macher?
One year he decided to buy candy canes, but this wasn’t your run of the mill after Christmas sale at Rite Aid, this was a truckload of candy canes, he got a good deal. He always got good deals, this…
Everyone loves to hate Hatzolah guys
Hatzolah makes many people cringe, I myself used to cringe when I was stuck in traffic on Friday afternoon and suddenly a big fat Chassidish hocker in a suburban with lights flashing and peyos thrashing about flying down the shoulder…
Are you annoyed when people ask – what do you do?
What do you do? You can always tell someone is a New Yorker when they pop that question before they even ask for your name. It is quite rude according to many, although I do not share these same views.…
Metrosexual Fashions come to the Yeshia World
The newest “hock” in the yeshivishe velt is funky glasses frames. I have been seeing some ridiculous styles of glasses lately, there is this one dude in the chofetz chaim yeshiva of Dallas that wears bright green glasses frames, he…
20 types of guys that every yeshiva has
Every yeshiva is different so the following may vary but my yeshiva had a bunch of different characters- their roles stayed the same from year to year, but their names changed. I have 18 listed and I know there are…
3 years unlimited phone service for $70 No Joke!
I wish this were a paid advertisement!!! So the classic hocker is one who find deals and knows people, or at least says he does. By the way, have you ever noticed that women are never hockers, whats up with…
Poking fun at Hockers and BT’s (video)
This was filmed on the deck of a ski house that my friends rented for the weekend, it was pitch black and they really didn’t want to be seen anyway, the dialog was great. If you understand hockers and yeshivish…
What is a hocker? (video)
If you have a good understanding of what a hocker or macher is – this video hits home. If not, wish you luck in understanding it. (the sound was not too great- and the title is just because I couldn’t…
Yeshivish Real Estate Hockers
I’m in real estate is such a common saying in the yeshvish hocker slightly off the derech in that I have friends who are girls kind of way. I meet frum people who are in “real estate” so much that…
What on earth is a Tuna Beigel?
In the frum world there is lots of terminology that I am still coming to terms with. Sometimes I ry and insert words to make myself sound more frum, in fact using words like Viter or shayich can really improve…
Interesting story about rude NY hocker types
The names and locations have been changed to protect the job of a certain individual: We were eating in a restaurant this summer that my brother worked at. 3 very large campers and their counselors came in to the place…
How do you behave at kiddush?
How do you behave at Kiddush? Everyone does different things at Kiddush, I myself look like a wolf, scouting out the offerings and planning an attack that will be most profitable and allow me to stockpile the hard to reach…