There’s an article in the USA Today about Atheist Megachurches that basically take all the fun things that large Churches offer and leave God out of the equation. Sounds like fun, except I’m not sure how it works when they…
Tag: davening
Makom Kavua Wars
For the second shabbos in a row my seat in shul was taken, in fact it’s been taken all week and I kind of want to walk up to the guy who’s decided to commandeer it and ask him when…
What time did you end musaf?
It just so happens that one of the things frum folks like most about Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah is the davening times competition. However, one of the worst things about living in a small community is that you can’t…
Am I really being honored
I got an email from the shul last night, informing me that I was to be honored with gelilah for the second Torah on the second day of Rosh Hashanah. Being the cynical conspiracy theorist that I am, I immediately…
What we can learn from shabbos davening times
I have to be honest, I never gave the times people start shabbos morning davening much thought until I realized that the whole world didn’t just start at 9am. In general the orthodox Jewish way is to start shachris at…
RE: I hope you aren’t jerks when I have to say kaddish
I was in shul in Berkeley once and there was a yeshivish visitor who got very unnerved that a woman was saying kaddish, the Rabbi coolly quieted him down and that’s when I learned that women generally don’t say kaddish.…
I hope you aren’t jerks when I have to say Kaddish
Guest Post by Charles Zucker Fortunately, I’ve never had to say Kaddish for anyone. I hope, when that day comes, that the rest of the congregants aren’t jerks about it. You know, like they are now. This happens during the…
The Tyranny of Hagbah
The Tyranny of Hagbah Guest Post by Charles Zucker No bully has ever kicked sand in my face. And though I was never a 97-pound weakling I am now a slightly doughy, 200ish pound weakling. I only have two fears:…
10 evil things that some shuls do
Evil is a word reserved for things I truly dislike, things I think that will bring klal yisroel down if we continue to practice. Evil is reserved for sex abusers, jarred gefilte fish, and Niturei Karta parades. I guess hate…
My first time davening for the amud
Until last week, the closest I’ve ever come to davening for the amud, was saying the haftorah at my bar mitzvah. I’m one of those people that used to avoid getting any sort of shul job from fear of doing…
10 Things I hate most about Modern Orthodox shuls
There’s really so much to hate about davening in Modern Orthodox shuls, once you get past the joys of the super low mechitza and interesting reading materials in the library, the sad truths hit you all at once. The low…
Kavannah development
Last week was a bad week, you would think that after the rabbis fiery mussar speeches leading up to Chanukah would have stirred the deep recesses of my soul and they kind of did, but unfortunately my guf didn’t respond…
Yeshivish vs. Modern Orthodox Rosh Hashanah davening
By most people’s standards I belong to modern orthodoxy, some may throw me into post denominational neo-chossid type of groups, but I just can’t seem to stand Modern Orthodox High Holiday services. Thank God the chazzan had a yeshivish nusach…
Why on earth does shabbos davening take 3 hours?
People were literally freaking out yesterday, you see, the regular old Modern Orthodox shul in San Francisco ended shabbos morning davening at 11:15 instead of the MO regulation time of 12pm. It seemed that the opinion swayed toward “what’s the…
I found some yeshivish people in the Bay Area
Upon finishing shemona esrei I saw something that I haven’t seen in a long time. There was a fellow with his hat pushed back high in his head, doing the full on fist pump shuckel. It appeared that he was…
The worst thing about being married so far…
I know it’s only a week in, but I already have a complaint. Sure, a lot of my miserably married friends told me not to go through with it, but I didn’t take heed and so I’m now faced with…
Does mixed seating at shul really hurt your kavannah?
Originally posted on Dov Bear By Chometz Ben Yayin No. I don’t pray to a cross, and no, I’m not an angry davener. Let me explain. I live on the upper west side. I have for more than ten years.…
21 necessary evils of the frum community
They say that government and taxes are two necessary evils whether we like it or not. The frum community also has a lot of necessary evils and I just wanted to touch upon a few of them today. I’m sure…
Attention BT’s: Shuckling like a madman won’t get you any closer to God
Have you ever been taken out by a BT throwing down some crazy shuckel? I don’t think so, but you should know that I have. I was in this shul in Atlanta once and I swear that the place was…
Going to shul in the morning sucks
I’m sitting in shul slumped in my chair. I look like a drunk with a bad hangover. By this juncture, I’m wondering what on earth possessed me to get out of bed this morning. Sure, my guilty conscience, ahem the yetzer tov…
Ramblings about death and appreciation
Even as I mounted my bike and rode up the switchbacks through towering redwoods, I couldn’t relax. It was too close to shabbos to relax, sure I was happy to finally be away from people, the city and any distractions…
Why do all shul bathrooms suck?
My shuls bathroom is beige, yours is probably painted beige as well, it may be gray or some sort of sky blue, but most shul bathrooms are painted beige. I’m not sure about the ladies bathrooms, but I know that…
The frum satire guide to Shemona Esrei
I have written extensively on the ways people daven, judging them by the ways they pronounce things and the movements they make. Heck, I’ve written and done comedy routine videos on the most skipped parts of davening and why that…
Are you just a Jew on shabbos?
For most people, morning minyan is a way of life. Either they find the virtue of starting their day with connection to God, their families force them to go or they feel driven to complete a fledgling minyan. I myself…
Yom Kippur pickup lines
I don’t know about you, but while I am clopping numerous Al Chaits all I can think about is how I am going to be able to clop the chest of that hottie across the mechitza and it’s so God…