Thanks to Rachmuna Litzlon (the OTDer Rebbe) we can now create legitimate chumras and bans to our hearts desire. I’ve always wanted to ban vegetarian cholent, children singing anim zemiros,and Asian women from driving. Now I can do that and…
Tag: chumras
Tznius is a beautiful mitzvah
Tznius is truly a beautiful mitzvah, it’s one in which many women who aren’t even frum yet can shine in. It puts the bas yisroel on display for all to see how much yiras shamayim she has and it’s becoming…
Rosh Yeshiva pasuls witness at chupah because of iPhone
There was a time when I thought such a story would be a hoax, but those days are gone. There has been so much craziness in the chumra and anti-internet world that I’m willing to believe that a Rav would…
Modern Orthodox Chumras
By definition the Modern Orthodox does not make chumras (stringencies) for itself. Generally, modern orthodoxy is about being an observant Jew without all of the social and communal obligations that have been invented over the years to separate from secular…
The chumra crisis: We need more chumras
You may have also noticed this trend, but I have been alarmed by the fact that no new chumras have been created by the gedolim or their funders for some time. Back during the mid 2000’s it seemed like there…
Vizhnitzer Rebbe bans contact lenses
The article reads like satire, but unfortunately it is not… Rabbi, how do you like my glasses? Vizhnitz Hasidism decides spectacles must meet modesty rules too. Yeshiva students urged to give up on metal glasses andcontact lenses. Ari Galahar •…
Haredi ads claim internet causes cancer
I’m not feeling well enough to write satire honestly, but news like this couldn’t wait. Thanks to Gila who sent me the following piece from Ynet News, which really makes me wonder if these people aren’t crack. I completely understand…
Gedolim warn of the dangers of Wikipedia
A guest post by Philo KOL KOREH A GRAVE WARNING FROM OUR GEDOLIM, SHLITA, ABOUT THE ENTRY “GADOL” ON “WIKIPEDIA” BS”D The danger of the Internet has long been known and publicized, that through it one could easily reach places…
Is Facebook or Smoking more assur?
It’s not another satirical piece by me, it’s actually a fairly lengthy discussion in one of the yeshiva world news coffee room forums and it’s a pretty hot debate. The basic premise is that smoking will cause you physical harm,…
God doesn’t care if you wear a black hat
The RaHaF ZT”L in his sefer nefesh hahesh brings down a story of a man who left his body and went to the beis din sehl mala where he spoke to God about gaining entry into Olam Habah: I saw…
Rabbis discover that there are bugs everywhere
After a Reditt user uploaded photos containing microscopic bugs found in New York City’s water supply, Rabbi around the country gathered around high powered microscopes and came to the shocking discovery that there are bugs everywhere, word in the shtetl…
Brooklyn yeshiva claims to be the frummest of them all
Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the frummest of them all? One lone Brooklyn yeshiva has decided to outdo the the rest with yet another superficial rule to show that they are in fact the frummest of them all. The…
Black velvet yarmulkes make you more religious
It’s official — wearing a black velvet makes you smarter and more likely to be fervent in your religious practices, says a new study done by the Chumra Research Institute. CRI’s latest study comes as such a shock to the…
Sefiras Haomer is the perfect time to be extra frum
Just because we just finished Pesach and it’s chumra madness doesn’t mean you can’t one up all of your neighbors with chumros. If not for sefiras ha-omer all of the machmir police would have to wait until the three weeks…
Kol Koreh against flying – it’s not mentioned in any seforim
From YWN: I, along with many prominent and well-known askonim, am currently circulating a kol koreh among many rabbonim, gedolim, and roshei yeshiva to decry not only Spirit Airlines, but the practice of flying in general. It is a known…
Rabbis ban air: It contains bugs
Orthodox Rabbis may ban air, because of the bacteria and bugs contained within it. It sounds crazy, but in a report released by ultra orthodox Rabbis in Lakewood, they clearly state that breathing in air is assur and that we…
Rabbis in Israel may ban fish because of worms
It’s been a long time since the Rabbis banned a food product, it seems they have been quite busy this year with scandals that they forgot to ban anything. The last couple of years have been filled with so many…
Personal mechitzas marketed to Charedim struggling with mile high club fantasies
Last week there was some news about a company in Israel marketing personal mechitzas for Charedim traveling on planes that don’t want to watch movies or wrestle with some immodestly dressed seat mate for the arm rest and I think…
Bans that never made it
I am sure there are more bans that never made it, but this is just a short list that I could come up with…. Fish: Several years ago when it was discovered that water was unkosher because of the bugs…
Group wants colored shirts banned: Says they are women’s clothing
For some time it has been known that anyone caught wearing a colored shirt in religious communities around the world was likely to be ostracized by the community. Shidduchim, schooling, seminary, even real estate value can all be affected by…
Charedim spread raspberry syrup on benches to prevent hanging out
Original article on Ynet News A new initiative put together by anonymous Mea Shearim residents is making the lives of youths there just a little bit harder, and stickier. Every week, just before Shabbat comes in, raspberry syrup is smeared…
Charedi girls paid not to wear makeup at their wedding
Jerusalem – The Darchei Rachel seminary for girls in Jerusalem imposed a new regulation recently: Each girl agreeing not to put on makeup for her wedding will receive a scholarship worth NIS 1,000 (about $265).
Modern orthodox Rabbis ban separate seating at events
Modern Orthodox Rabbis have finally agreed to ban separate seating at weddings and other celebrations, Rabbi Josh Miller who heads the Union of Modern Orthodox Rabbis didn’t exactly come up with the resolution but was very for it, “it will…
Pregnant women should be banned
Sent to me om Facebook Pregnant women should be banned, according to a Jewish organization whose name has been withheld to protect me. After viewing a drawing of the matriarch, Rivka, pregnant with her future sons, Yaakov and Esav, as…
Vacations are almost banned
Its been some time since the Charedim have tried to ban something, this is mostly because the riots, the gays and the scandals have kept the Rabbis and their henchmen from concentrating on more important things like banning vacations, the…