Reb Shmuel is one of the Gedolim… I vowed I would keep it forever and ever. Who can guess where this is from? My best friend Sammy and I…
Reb Shmuel Dimaggio
Category: satire
Do you want to offset your carbon footprint?
Guess what folks? Frum Satire is going green. Don’t worry, the color of the site won’t change. My attitude about the environment will. After much consideration, I have decided to jump on the bandwagon and ask you folks if you…
Woman quits conversion due to racism at shabbos table
A woman was eating at her local orthodox Rabbis house this past week when the rabbi announced that they were going to sing a niggun because his shvigger liked when the boys sang at the meal. She stood up at…
Rabbis ban air: It contains bugs
Orthodox Rabbis may ban air, because of the bacteria and bugs contained within it. It sounds crazy, but in a report released by ultra orthodox Rabbis in Lakewood, they clearly state that breathing in air is assur and that we…
Sephardic Kosher Pizza Racket says it isn’t in the sushi business
It looks like the kosher pizza shop will soon be a thing of the past, according to a recent poll of 100 New York area kosher pizza shops, which reveals that 74% are selling more sushi than pizza and have…
I have a dream
I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for achdus in the history of our nation. Several years ago, some great Rabbis, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today,…
OU Calls for Immediate Ban on Shul Candymen
By Harris S. Judah The Orthodox Union is continuing to take a serious look at the social implications of some ever-popular shul practices now indigenous in many modern orthodox synagogues and elsewhere, and calling on all member congregations nationwide to…
What non-Jews may think of some Jewish rituals
I wrote this post last night and just this morning I received word that a flight was diverted from New York to Philly because some kid decided to whip out his tefillin, and some folks thought it was a bomb.…
Kabbalists gather to produce sequel to the Exorcist
In a bid to produce a sequel to the Exorcist, noted kabbalists gathered in Israel this week to see if they could get a dybbuk out of a man, who had supposedly been possessed while vacationing in South America. The…
Man beaten in Meah Shearim for ogling women
A man is in critical condition today after he was beaten by a modesty squad in the Jerusalem neighborhood of Meah Shearim. Witnesses say the man was looking across the street at a crowd of women, when the attackers jumped…
Woman sues missionary organization that gave her faulty menorah
A woman plans to sue the Jewish missionary movement known as Crushed Hats and Beards, claiming that the free menorah she received from them at a local mall, despite its model having been recalled by the manufacturer, to have caused…
Bans that never made it
I am sure there are more bans that never made it, but this is just a short list that I could come up with…. Fish: Several years ago when it was discovered that water was unkosher because of the bugs…
Handshaking with the opposite sex for business purposes is not kosher
It has been debated amongst all sects along the spectrum of Jewish Orthodoxy for years as to whether shaking hands with the opposite sex is kosher. In past years, it has been thought that shaking hands for business purposes was…
Shadchan refuses to set up guy who used to wear striped shirts
A lawsuit filed in federal court today accuses a shadchan, a traditional Jewish matchmaker, of discrimination. The plaintiff, Joseph Schwartz, filed suit against Chaya Bluma Friedlander after she refused to set him up, based solely on the grounds that in…
Shadchanim may go on strike if commissions aren’t raised
The National Shadchans Association is demanding higher commissions and if those demands aren’t met, they will strike. The National Shadchan Association (NSA) is made up of about 1200 professional Shadchanim. In order to apply, a Shadchan must be married and…
Fight takes place in shul over Makom Kavua
Two men were injured today at what bystanders have been calling a makom kavua confrontation. Witnesses say that a modernishe guy entered the shul a little bit late and took the first seat he could find, shortly afterward, a large…