A bonobo monkey went to the doctor. “You are 98.7% human,” the doctor told him. “It can’t be,” the monkey cried in disbelief. “The humans are killing each other on a massive scale, and destroying my habitat in the process.”…
Category: food
When all is said and done, Tisha B’Av just isn’t funny
There isn’t anything inherently funny about Tisha B’Av. Yom Kippur is funnier — we clop our chests, all the Rabbis look like idiots in their white canvas shoes and suits and it’s so boring that in yeshiva we ended up…
Traditional Jewish food given Most Unsexy food award
Traditional Jewish food has been given the most unsexy food award at this years Food Network Awards. Judges tried multiple foods from a variety of cultures, ethnicities and religions. “I don’t get it. Why don’t they just make stew, maybe…
Is it kosher to celebrate Memorial Day?
I don’t recall ever hearing that Memorial Day wasn’t a kosher holiday. It was never considered one of the goyishe holidays and I think I recall that the Rabbis in yeshiva had nice things to say about it. No, they…
Shavuos thoughts
One of my status updates on facebook yesterday was that I was wondering what to write about for Shavuos. One of the people responded that I should write about how wonderful it was to come to shul to see everyone…
Kiddush Food Guide
Kiddush is one of my favorite Jewish specific events, and it doesn’t happen often enough. Today’s uncertain economy has brought down the quality of kiddushim to the lowest I’ve seen in years. Today’s kiddushim are nothing like that of those…
Shabbos with the Motorcycle Rabbi
I think it was the first time in my life that I heard the following from a Rabbi with a long white beard: “You can go to shul if you’d like, but I need to get some sleep before the…
Traif: Williamsburg Restaurant devoted to pork and shelfish
Traif is a new restaurant that says it is going to celebrate pork and shellfish and I find it really funny, some of you may find it sad that a Jewish guy is opening up a restaurant devoted to his…
Californian Jews are too peaceful at kiddush
I was armed with a fork, flimsy plastic plate and a strategy before the rest of the congregants even walked through the door. I had placed myself right between the two main bowls of food, one containing a basic green…
Sephardic Kosher Pizza Racket says it isn’t in the sushi business
It looks like the kosher pizza shop will soon be a thing of the past, according to a recent poll of 100 New York area kosher pizza shops, which reveals that 74% are selling more sushi than pizza and have…
I was pretty impressed with the Los Angeles Jews
They say it’s not good to go anywhere with expectations because you will undoubtedly be let down. I came Los Angeles this week with specific expectations. I expected to come away with a firm belief that I could mark LA…
Shabbos at the Shul on the Beach in Venice California
Typically when you walk out of shul for a break, you find the bulletin board and check if there’s a hot Kiddush, look through the door of the women’s section, check out the hot new designs and technology in the…
Derech, schmerech. Pass the shrimps.
I heard there’s a lot of hullabaloo around here about why people “go off the derech”, and anger, and backgrounds, and all kinds of naarishkeit. Fine. Do what you’ve got to do. Now, normally, I’d stay out of this kind…
Where did all these anti-gluten people come from?
I can hardly find a product anymore that doesn’t proclaim what it does not have in it. It seems that the food police have become anti-everything, even things that are thought to be beneficial. Why does it seems that anti-gluten fanatics…
Why I Don’t Eat Animals
I was just interviewed on the blog Heeb ‘n Vegan. Michael Croland, who runs the site, managed to get a lot out of me in very little space — we talk about Muslim punk music, my novel Never Mind the…
Kosher food certification is modeled after the Mob
It seems like a long time has gone by since the Rabbis declared New York water needs a hechsher due to them finding bugs. I always wondered how they would find bugs and suddenly out of nowhere the kasharus industry…
My first shabbos in Berkeley
The aron was open and three women were standing around it. They had just placed the torah back after the drasha; if I would have walked into shul at that moment I would have wondered if I was in the…
I don’t hold of that hechsher
Amy’s Kitchen makes some amazing and healthy products, their canned chili, refried beans and soups are all amazing as well as their microwavable pizzas, Asian and Mexican meals are all very tasty and mostly vegan and organic. The problem is…
My Mountain Dew addiction
I am sure a good portion of my life was wasted due to my high intake of Mountain Dew. How was I supposed to know the stuff could practically kill you or was known to make folks grow a third…
Being Dan L’kaf Zechus (giving people the benefit of the doubt)
A lesson in giving people the benefit of the doubt as illustrated by this video I took at Kosher Fest.
Comprehsenive Guide to Jewish cakes and cookies
I am sure I missed some, it seems I always do, but the following list seems to be pretty complete. Jews love food, and we love our cakes and cookies – we have them at kiddush, weddings, those yertzeits at…
Kosherfest: The worlds Largest Kiddush
I know this video is kind of belated, but definitely not outdated, food will never become outdated because we need it to survive. This years kosherfest was definitely not as good as last years – mostly because the civilians found…
Will learn for free food
Its Carlos and Gabbys night at the yeshiva, this usually means high attendance, the people who run the place aren’t stupid. If you want to get some punk ass 15 year old priority one kid in the door on a…
Olgas on Smith: My favorite restaurant in Brooklyn
I have been eating a bit healthier lately, and have noticed that there is an absolute dearth of healthy kosher restaurants in the city, what the Jews call healthy is a far cry from great tasting and actually healthy. Sure…
What do you think of kosher restaurants that are open on shabbos?
I ate at Cafe Viva on the upper west side last night, I have heard countless people rave to me about their pizza, and so I decided to pay them a visit before an event I went to at the…