So I’m driving by Spuyten Duyvil Station on my way into Manhattan and I see a guy on top of the bridge over the Hudson Parkway. I pull over and yell out “Hey what are you doing up there?” He…
Author: Telz Angel
Segulah Ring Saved My Marriage.
I’m so happy with my new Segulah Ring. I saw the ad in the last issue of Mishpacha magazine (didn’t you?) and read some of the blogs about it. It’s truly an amazing ring and it has changed my life…
Rachel’s hot letters.
I love reading Rachel’s hot letters on the Jewish Press. It turns me on like the fridge light after havdalah. Take this letter from a few weeks ago, about the crisis in our communities — crisis — that means tension and yes,…
Dear Telz Angel: My rabbi is strange.
Sometimes I get emails from readers asking me about Hashkafa questions. Here’s one that I could not answer, so you have to help me out. I know you can. He’s somewhere on the east coast — here’s what he telz…
Don’t think, Don’t feel, Don’t ask
Gone are the days where the Chassidic tales were understood though the lens of Martin Buber’s classic folktales. Most people understood these fables were Buber’s romanticisms of Eastern European folk heroes. And somehow things evolved into a new type of story: a fusion…
Bonfire of the Frumities
Seems like every community I’ve lived in suffers the same problem every year at Lag B’omer — who really owns the holiday? Chabad or the Community Kollel? It’s fair to say that Chabad got there first. They’ve been doing these…
Fun things that piss off frum people
Thinking of the lists that Heshy and other contributors are making, I thought of another one — things that piss of frum people, but the items themselves might not really be all that bad. And these are fun to orchestrate…
What’s under the modest swimwear?
Recently, a company in Israel advertised their modest swimwear for frum women on many Jewish community e-mail lists. One list member asked me the obvious question, and it has bothered me since. What is the point of modest swimwear? Do frum…
I predict a tsunami disaster
It’s predictable. An earthquake hits Japan, a tsunami results, and more aftershocks come. This results in the death of hundreds if not thousands of people. Truly a human tragedy. So why post on Frum Satire? Because the frum reactions are…
Top ten ways FrumSatire makes me feel more Frum
It has been said that Frum Satire drives people off the derech. How wrong this is ! Let me count the ways. Here are the Top ten ways FrumSatire makes me feel more frum, 10. The website ads drive me…
My frum-porn arrived in the mail
It’s a magazine with shiny pages and vibrant picture. And it’s total frummy-porn goodness. But there’s no skin, and hardly any pictures of people. Confused? It’s the Annual Shnorah Chinese Raffle Catalog. Porn for frummies. Beautiful images of highly desirable, but…
Day school laptops on eBay, what a steal!
Religious day school education is incredibly expensive. But when you put the top minds together, inspired by Torah and Maddah, you certainly get innovative solutions. We see this pattern over and over again with the clever students at The Brisker…
Getting Stoned at a Bar Mitzvah
We had another Bar Mitzvah last Shabbat. This one turned violent. The kid and a few others got stoned. No, I don’t mean high or wasted. I mean pelted. He just finished his aliyah and the crowd burst into Mazal…
US News ranks top Yeshivas
In a surprise move, US News and World Report’s annual college ranking now includes a new section for Yeshivas. Using a similar methodology for business and technical schools, the researchers collected data on acceptance rates, performance on standardized tests, opinions…
I’m sick of prayers for the sick.
The highlight of a shabbat morning service in most shuls is the prayer for the sick that takes place between the shi’shi and shevi’i aliyah. I find this most interesting, since alas, on Shabbat we are not supposed to make…
The League of Important Poskim
Did you know there is a League of Important Poskim (LIP)? Indeed there is! The LIP are the team of rabbis who make important decisions about halacha. Hint: you can list what you think those might be in the…
Frumkeit Flambeaux Backfires Bat Mitzvahs
There’s nothing quite like Louisiana Jews. Actually, there’s nothing quite like Louisiana – with its odd mix of cultures, races, and old-world mysticism. If you want to play with avodah zara, take a tour of the French Quarter and the…
When did Torah Reading become a platform for important things?
During the short period of time prior to the building of the Second Temple, the great religious dynamic duo of Ezra and Nechemiah opened up the first kiruv operation. The Jewish people forgot the Torah and lived secular lives during…
Is a Safe-Treif Certification in the works?
Kashrut authorities have been able to make money on certifying all sorts of odd things that once never really needed a hechsher. We all joke about the kashrus of water, fruit, and even toilet bowl cleaners. This is no joke,…
Kollel guys on the hunt for jobs
Kollel guys at the Telz Yeshiva of Lancaster, PA are facing the harsh reality that in tough economic times, sometimes you actually have to work for a living. For many years, they were able to squeak by having their wife or their…
BRS decides to take on FrumSatire and attack the Kiruv movement.
In a move clearly targeting the FrumSatire.net blog and its satirical attacks on the Orthodox community, a cabal of anti-kiruv members of the Boca Raton Synagogue have secretly launched their own parody site designed to denigrate the frum community and attack the…
Young Orthodox Shul of Androgen, NY Confuses Me.
Upstate New York is a weird place, And the little town of Androgen, NY is one of the most confusing places of them all. I’m not the only one to think so. The National Council of Young Orthodox Shuls (NCYOS)…