Author: Shragi

Bring Heshy Back!

We at Frum Satire are very attuned to your needs. Very. Many, including me, have asked for Heshy’s return and Heshy finally said to me “fine, I’ll write something…” (that ellipses was a bleep because this is a family show).…

A Modern Hanukkah Story

Moster

More than two thousand years ago our forefathers hid in caves to pass on the traditions of their forefathers; to teach Torah, to play dreidel and to make sure that their children never ever learn number theory, or whatever other…

Tznius Alert

While taking the A train this morning along with all the YU guys who have internships on Wall Street I noticed something very disturbing, a real breach in tznius. I saw a very pretty young lady, she looked frum which…

Kiruv Rabbi Smackdown

Anyone who’s found themselves struggling with “the big questions” in their lifetime has listened to Avigdor Miller talk about the wondrousness of the apple and the orange and how you can see Hashem just by looking at them, has heard…

Is Oral Sex On Your Derech?

Is oral sex mutar? Well it depends. See this flow chart to see whether it might just be allowed for you. H/T Fred MacDowell. (What say you Fred gets his own column on Frum Satire already?) _______________________ Find out whether…

Simchas Torah and Veteran’s Day

While walking down 5th Ave today and observing the Veteran’s Day festivities I felt like it was Simchas Torah all over again. On Simchas Torah you’ve got a lot of ebullient yeshiva bochurim happy to be free from yeshiva for…

Change You Can Believe In

As frum Jews we are all afraid of change, we don’t like change, we resist it, we protest against it in Time Square, we threaten to make a mass exodus from Israel over it, we rewrite history so that we’re…

Get the Vote Out in Borough Park

It’s very important before an election to remember who the true power brokers are. To that end the New Yorker ran a story yesterday called The Shame of Borough Park, which chronicles the travails of Sam Kellner, a man who…

10 Hours of Walking in NYC

Walking in NYC

So I’m sure you’ve seen, or at least heard about, the women-haters of NYC who don’t allow women to walk down their streets unmolested by their catcalls. Unfortunately it turned out that the video makers were just as much racists…

The Shabbos Project is NOT About Kiruv

Remember kids, the Shabbos Project is NOT about kiruv, the organizers said so themselves numerous times in their website. So please keep that in mind as you read these suggestions from Rabbi Klatzko on how to make sure your non-Orthodox…

Rabbi Shmuley on Rabbi Freundel

Is America’s Rabbi parodying himself with this ridiculous reaction to Mikvahgate? Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is a tough act to follow, but in what follows he outdoes himself. Rabbi Shmuley, despite his pain and shock, takes the time to respond to…

The Shabbos App is Genius

Pretty soon you won’t have to go OTD in order to be the first to see the latest selfies posted by the Hot Chani you’re following on Facebook under your fake account on Shabbos (it’s almost 2015, Hot Chanis don’t…

Minutes of Meeting, Rosh Hashana 5775

Body of Heavenly Hosts On Rosh Hashana, which ran from September 25 to 26, The Body of Heavenly Hosts met for their annual executive session. Attendance The following Heavenly Hosts were in attendance: Hashem – overseeing the proceedings and passing…

The Kedusha Crisis

Claiming historical significance in one’s work is usually hyperbole; usually, but not always. When Moishe Rabbainu put out the call for donations for the mishkan we can assume he told everyone this is a historic opportunity “Hashem Yisborach made this world 2,500…

10 Prerequisites for Going OTD

The frum community has a very defined list of requirements for those who would consider themselves part of the community; one has to keep Shabbos, kosher, taharas hamishpacha (that’s the set of rules that governs having sex through a hole…

The Definitive Guide to Frum Cars

I know a successful commercial realtor who leased a Lexus before closing his first deal; he knew he was going to meet the potential buyer and he knew his first impression had to kill, maiming or merely wounding was not…