Change You Can Believe In

As frum Jews we are all afraid of change, we don’t like change, we resist it, we protest against it in Time Square, we threaten to make a mass exodus from Israel over it, we rewrite history so that we’re not confronted with it; therefore Frum Satire’s pledge to you is to be unchanging. Frum Satire has been, is, and always will be there for you. But it is about to undergo some changes nevertheless, it will be change you can believe in though.

Now, unlike Obama who promised to deliver change and only followed through with issuing new coins, in the next few weeks we will deliver change. Big, seismic change.

  1. The site is currently being completely redesigned. Like, completely, from the ground up.
  2. Now this is a truly big change; we’re gonna ask you for something: if you can design a logo for Frum Satire that reflects the malady of Jewish self-hatred we suffer from, our team of discriminating art critics will be happy to consider adding it to our redesign.
  3. Once these changes are made, we may be able to convince Heshy to come back. If we can’t get him to come out of his self-imposed hiatus we’ll have to send a posse down to his restaurant, chain him to the keystone and force him to write again.
  4. Now I know this isn’t really a change, but it is something you can believe in nevertheless: we are accepting guest posts that make a point about contemporary Judaism, whether directly or in a passive aggressive way. The only change here is that we will be adding author’s names more prominently than in the past and with the new site design you will be able to click on an author’s name and see all their posts. (Welcome to the 22nd century, right? Sheesh! It took us long enough!)
  5. Not that we’re asking, but since you’re probably wondering, the answer is yes, maintaining this site does take time and money, both of which are in especially short supply on both the West Coast where Heshy lives and on the East Coast where I live. Over the past year we’ve had to clean out malware from the site’s database twice and we just allowed our anti-malware plugin expire to because we couldn’t afford to renew it. We also never got a firewall because we couldn’t afford it, we lost our Google AdSense because the site’s performance is so poor and its design is so cookie-cutter (seriously, even a bot can tell that this site is ugly). Honestly if this site made any money Hehsy wouldn’t have to be convinced to come back; in fact I’ll bet he’d even quit his lucrative cheffing career and do this full-time. So if you’d like to help out, feel free to contact me or Heshy about sending over some bones, or clams, or however you refer to them, via PayPal.

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Find out more about Frum Satire’s important contribution to civilized discourse at 4torah.com