Jewish Porn Magazine searches for titles

I received an email recently from a fan who is coming out with the first ever Jewish porn magazine, he said that within the growing off the derech community there are numerous beautiful maidlach that are “uneducated and have no other skills beyond being horny single moms who need to find work“. Apparently, some of the only people that read pornography offline are shomer shabbos Jews. What better way to provide for the shomer shabbos porn community than to come out with a magazine filled with heimishe viable. So the shidduch has been made, the first issue is due out sometime around Chanukah, but the guy told me that he can’t figure out what to call the magazine. He doesn’t want only shomer shabbos Jews to read it, he wants non-religious Jews as well (he thinks it may serve a kiruv purpose) and he also thinks it could even be used in geirus to help people decide that converting is worthwhile.

In his email he told me that if anyone could come up with a title for his Jewish Porn Magazine, frum satire could do it. I told him that I would post it on Facebook, but it seems that most of those comments and suggestions on Facebook thought it was the title for a porn video, magazines and videos are a different thing. Devorah Does Flatbush only works in video, while Baal Habusta Ballers may work quite well if you want to focus the magazine on hot kollel wives and rebetzins. I will post some of the good ideas from Facebook, but I’m not sure they qualify.

Whoever comes up with the best title will get to be a centerfold in the first issue, if you’re a dude, you can pick the OTD girl of your choice to be in the centerfold. I’m sure that if this does well, it’ll only be time until a frum gay porn magazine comes out.

Zaftig Middos

Baala Busta

Bais Yaakov Bitches

Nifloas Haboreh

Groise Tuches

Ervah

Zaftig – there’s plenty of obese girls who went off the derech

Vilda Chaya’s

Gartel – for BDSM fans

Meat and MILF

Pilegesh

Minivan Mammas

Play Goy

Shmutz

Metzitzeh B’peh

Tichels and Tushies

Parve – for bisexuals

Low Mechitza

See through mechitza

Monsey Maidels – are there enough women from Monsey for even one issue

Chaim’s List

Biah Shelo Kidarko

Zera Livatala

Busty Bubbe’s – plenty of women went off the derech during the haskalah

Viable Vag

Big Ball Bustas

Milk and Honeys

Ankles and Elbows

Heimishe Hunnies

Barely Shteebel

Sexy Sheitles

Yiddishe Tam

BMG Bendover

Nidah Nasties

Lubavitch Lovelies

Hocker

Ballin Bubbe’s

I can’t say who the winner is, but I especially liked Ervah and Barely Shteebel.