The best forum for bragging about how frum you are

shabbos table sexThe Yeshiva World News website may not match the depth and variety of their competition Vos Iz Nieas, but YWN as it’s affectionately known has an amazing forum filled with ridiculous questions posed by ridiculous people. It’s basically the best place to see people trying to show how much frummer they are than others. Now, I’m fairly certian that it’s gone on so long because of these so called “trolls” who just like to stir the pot, but I myself am a big fan of trolls. Half of the machlokes in the frum community is created by trolls and The Yeshiva World News Coffee Room is where one can find this Seinfeldian machlokes about nothing, nothing that important anyway.

I’m not sure why I never bothered to answer the questions here, but in lieu of working 70 hours this week, I was trying to think of clever content engineering and what better way than to write about topics that someone else has picked for you. So without further ado, I will attempt to stir the pot some more with my amaratzus and letzonus, in an effort to bring some sort of ruchniyus. (wow I could be a frummy rapper)

Part of me would love it if people could vote if the poster is real or troll, but I know that in the modern times of low attention spans this may be too much to ask.

Has anyone realized they were left alone at the office with a co-worker, patient, or client of the opposite gender? What do you do? I am a dental hygienist and for the very first time I had a close call with one of my patients. I work for a frum dentist. Besides myself in the office there is also an assistant and a receptionist. Both these girls are not jewish. Because the dentist and I see different patients, we end at different times. We work till pretty late in the evening (sometimes till 9 pm) but normally I end and leave first. One night this past week, the dentist ended earlier then me and left for the night. Soon after, the assistant left because she had no more work. The receptionist at the desk is usually last to leave but she told me she really had to go and asked if I could lock up. I didn’t want to say anything to the boy because I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable but realizing I would be left alone with him, I quietly excused myself in the middle of my procedure and explained to the girl that jewish law requires that someone else needs to be present in these type of situations. Eventho our office door is open, because he was the last patient for the night I knew no one else would be coming (especially at that late hour) and it would be considered yichud. I was about to call my husband to come but in the 15 minutes it would take for him to get to the office I realized I would probably be finished anyway so I convinced her to stay an extra 15 minutes. So my question is like this. Should this ever happen again, what is the proper approach? Can I just tell her to not tell me that shes leaving? It cant be considered yichud if I think she’s still there, right? What if I know that she left but my patient doesnt? Do both people need to know that they’re alone for it to be considered yichud? How has other people handled these types of situations? As the clinician its not like I can just leave….

Nope, I never had the sensitivity to turn every situation into a possible sexual rendezvous, but we can thank the laws of yichud for reminding us that men are pigs with little self control. I guess we can also thank the laws of yichud for reminding us to be sensitive and remember to include a third man when you plan your chassidic gang bang on Craigslist, after all Yichud only applies to 2 men and one girl, but I never heard anything about 3 men and a girl. While we’re on the subject, I hear that yichud doesn’t apply to 3 girls and a guy – it’s rare but it happens, trust me.

What I really don’t understand (besides for the terribly written question) is that if this was really such an important halachic issue for you, why wouldn’t you ask your Rav or Rebetzin? I mean, you make yourself sound like the frummest dental hygienist in the world, yet you go on the already assur internet in order to find halachic answers to a question that could have been answered by any old guy with a beard in about 30 seconds. I have reason to believe there is some major trolling going here.

Yichud is a great tool to recognizing the power of workplace sex possibilities, but I also think that it creates unnecessarily awkward situations that don’t need to happen. I am so frum that I never work for women, I always ask potential employers if there are women working there who have risen above the glass ceiling and usually refrain from working there. If you were really that frum, you would probably be working out of your house selling stockings.

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