Facebook Doesn’t Have “Shidduch Requests” for a Reason

Shidduch Text








“Hi there”

Shalom — notice how this is the first conversation I have ever had with this person on Facebook, and mind you, the last time I saw this person panim el panim was probably 6 years ago, and I think that conversation consisted of various ‘hello’ synonyms.

“Just putting out the word that we are looking for a shidduch for our daughter…”

Who I don’t know at all

“…in case you know of anyone up to 25-26 years old”

You want to know if I know anyone at all up to 26 year old?

“Double major in ——– and ——— at Brooklyn College…but she’s very frum, though…”

Do you indicate this because the average double major in Brooklyn College is generally not frum, and you want to exclude her from this group?

“No movies, no English music, but uses the internet”

Movies are so 1999.  Use of the internet equals — no — most definitely exceeds this so called “movies” category, unless you’re still dialing up to the internet with those “Free 200 Hours!” CDs from 1999.

“Needs a guy with a plan for parnassa”

Ah…that’s a good criterion.  Should he have 2 nostrils as well?  Because you failed to indicate whether she’s looking for that…

“She is extremely bright”

Of course she is — she’s a double major!  But thanks for emphasizing.  I think that’s enough for me to go on in order to suggest someone with whom she can spend the rest of her life.


Should parents be totally banned from Facebook, or perhaps they should be allowed on only with child supervision?  I leave it up to you.