20 Frum ways to say you’re taking a crap

shabbos-toilet paperIn the frum world you don’t really tell people much more than the fact you’re going to the bathroom, but for shits (pun intended) and giggles, some people use other terminology. If you really want to be halachic you can say gedolim or ketanim. A friend of mine says b’iyun or bekiyus and I myself say I’m going to poop my brains. It seems, according to the facebook research I did, that many people have different ways of saying they going to do a #2. In fact, there are so many frum ways to say you’re going #2 that it needs a list. On top of this, I learned today that the UN has established November 19th as Toilet Day.¬†

  1. B’iyun
  2. Machin Heimishe
  3. Shteigen the sugya
  4. Going to read the Jewish Press ( in the frum world, many folks used to refer to the Jewish Press as the Jewish Prust because it was more modernishe – it’s definitely more modern and sometimes shows pictures of women. I’m just not sure anyone refers to it as such anymore. I have heard people say that you can’t read the Yated in the bathroom, but you can read the JP)
  5. Gonna go push a shor in the bor
  6. Gonna drop some cholent
  7. I have to be zecher l’churbon
  8. Cleaning the kishkes
  9. Movin the mezonos
  10. Going to grind some charoses
  11. Opening the aron  kodesh
  12. Gonna make a golem
  13. Yitziat Mitachat
  14. It’s shilshul time
  15. Moshiach’s revenge
  16. Got anything to read without shaimos
  17. Gonna chazer the sugya
  18. I’m gonna be long enough to do the daf
  19. I have a get out of shiur free card
  20. I hope you have enough pre-cut toilet paper

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