Make her wedding night good!

by Chaya Miriam Fried

Let’s face it: the cost of a wedding is obscene. Ours was out of town, super low-key AND made possible by the assistance of many very kind people, but just seeing the bills (even though they were marked ‘PAID’) were enough to make you choke on your cud. Mix into that the idea that you have to don a sheitl the next day (and I don’t care how short or plain you go, the cost is huge), move in together, furnish a home, etc. and it’s nearly enough to scare you off from marriage entirely. I know people (not frum) who have put off getting married for years just because they don’t want to skimp on the party. We can all agree that that’s a ridiculous practice, and that the only alternative is to fall on your financial sword and call your rich uncle…if you have one.

Oh, and don’t forget your sheva brachos, which at some point you may have to throw for yourselves. I won’t go on; it’ll just make me nervous again just talking about it. What should be a happy occasion turns into something you just can’t wait to be over and done with.

My old roomie is getting married, and I’ve started a fund for her. Without boring you with the details, it’s crucial for even the plainest wedding. You’d be surprised how uncool some gemachs suddenly get when you didn’t grow up in Town X, or aren’t moving to Town Y. Parents, friends, paychecks have all been tapped and outside help is the last resort.

I’m sure you get a lot of these, people asking for help, and maybe they’re people you know personally. I realize that your own community has enough problems and not enough money to go around there, either.  Please step outside that and consider a young girl that’s run out of means and needs help. If you want more details, you’re more than welcome to e-mail your trusty editor and I can discuss it in more detail then.