Hate is a powerful word and being the super crunchy liberal I am, I rarely use the term. So the following list shouldn’t be taken lightly, because I’m about to list a whole bunch of things I hate. There’s a scene in the movie Babel which involves a women throwing her husbands drink away because the ice cubes weren’t up to her germaphobe standards and then before eating the meal (at some backwater tourist spot in Morocco) she puts on hand sanitizer. My wife and I went on a “You’ve got to be f%^&ing kidding me” style rant against hand sanitizer and I realized that I hated hand sanitizer.
Other things besides hand sanitizer (I also hate the people who use hand sanitizer) that Heshy Fried hates:
Slow lecha dodi tunes
Know it all hockers who always have a better story than you do
Asian ladies in the drivers seat
Grainy hippie humus
Tikkun Olam obsessive people
People who’re afraid of guns
Luxury pickup trucks
Foodies
Gluten free craziness
Vegans for “moral” reasons
Smart water (but the bottles are very good)
Rubashkin Pidyon Shvuyim ads on frum websites
Meshichists from France and Israel (the American one’s are very tolerable)
Cilantro and White pepper (the only two flavorings I can’t tolerate)
Vital Vittles (and the people who think it’s good)
Parve Cholent (and other things that never belong in the cholent of the white man – chick peas, wheat berries, chicken, ground meat, quinoa)
Bathrooms with no reading material
Women who think porn is cheating
Having to lie about ugly babies being cute
Flamboyant Twinks in boy shorts (I’m more of a redneck bear kinda guy)
Mechitza’s without a view