Top 20 Frummy scare tactics

If we spent some serious time we could collectively come up with a very long list of scare tactics used by our parents, friends, Rabbis and peers to get us to lead lives devoted to Hashem and his strange ways. Granted most of the scare tactics used have sources somewhere in our whacky heritage, but many of them are just social. I am sure there are a lot of shidduch scare tactics used on girls who aren’t following their bais yaakov dress codes and behavior norms to a tee. I sure remember all of my rebbeim warning me that if I talked to girls I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on my studies and that they just weren’t worth the trouble.

  1. The kid was misbehaving and the parents found out that the neighbor was feeding the kid cholov stam.
  2. If you’re not tznius Hashem will give you skin cancer.
  3. The couple was infertile because the shadchan didn’t get paid.
  4. Masturbate and you will boil in your own semen.
  5. If you speak loshon hara, your tongue will be glued to the floor of hell as bugs climb up and down it until you have no tongue and you go to olam haba without one.
  6. Masturbate and all the souls you wasted will chase you in gehenom and give you a good beating (no pun intended)
  7. If you go to college you’re children will marry non-Jews.
  8. A person who isn’t shoimer negiah is like a piece of bread that was touched by everyone. Who would want to eat a piece of bread touched by everyone?
  9. If you listen to non-Jewish music, you will get a piece of the goy’s soul and its tumah inside of you.
  10. You don’t wear a skirt with slits in it, unless you want to be like Avraham Avinu’s tent which welcomed people in from all sides.
  11. There was a man who miraculously recovered after his wife started covering her hair.
  12. Everything was going wrong until they installed mezuzas on their home.
  13. Did you hear about the man who missed his flight because he needed to go home and get his tefillin, the plane crashed – duh!
  14. “They’re gonna call for information and they’re gonna hear that you don’t come to the shmuess, you don’t come to shacharis and you’re not gonna get a shidduch” — my mashgiach in bais medrash.
  15. If you stare at the kohanim during duchening you will go blind.
  16. If you ask to see a picture you’ll never find a shidduch.
  17. If the man climaxes before the woman they will have a girl (by this we can bring out that women aren’t treated as equals in Judaism)
  18. Leaving a sefer opened makes you forget what you learned.
  19. If a woman drinks the havdallah wine she will grow a beard.
  20. If you eat extra on shabbos you won’t get fat, because you have an extra soul.
  21. Find more frummy scare tactics on 4torah.com

 

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