Dear Deborah Feldman: It took your lies to realize my truth

Guest Post by S. Simon

Dear Deborah Feldman,

As a Non- Orthodox single Jew who lives in San Diego, let me begin by thanking you. I have never heard of your book, until my colleage ( an Italian Catholic) showed me a New York Post article link online, huffing and puffing about how backwards “my people “are. But I thank you, because you have provided me with an abundance of entertainment . From the moment I began reading about Hasidim not dining out, having cerfews, and not buckling their children in, I was fascinated ( and appalled) .Upon doing research , and reaching out to many of my New York based clients ( namely those that are ultra religious \Hasidic) I realized something. You my dear, have a brilliant imagination as I was notified from these men that their wives go out to eat, practice safety in cars, and have no cerfews. Some of them also told me that their wives pursued educations. And others said that they had excellent sex lives unlike anything you described. I was told the laws of family sanctity keep the marriage fresh and invigorating.

Of course, I immediately downloaded the book, and read every blog\facebook\twitter post since. And it seems dear, that you have a touch of mental illness- which seems to run in the family. I feel so sorry for your sad upbringing . But while you could have gone for therapy, you repeated the same pattern of your mother by leaving your community ( and worse, created a media circus of fabrications)Shame Deborah. Shame. But again. I must thank you. You awoke the inner Jew in me, as something in me desired to defend my people. What reaffirmed my hunch that you were lying, was your constant need to delete any opposing opinion on your facebook page. Instead of responding with your truth , you simply deleted the comment- hoping to make each one dissapear. Red flag.

Well Ms. Feldman- Guess What? I have been attending “shul” for about a month now, and all I see is a beautiful community . One protects one another. I’ve received numerous Shabbat invites already, and continue to discover more beauty in the religion. So, I thank you. The ignorance you speak of: cover -ups, radical beahvior, extremism, and lies, exists ten fold in the Secular world – so you have just made me realize how badly I need to better my life and become Orthodox ( in fact I may publish a book one day called “Orthodox” the scandelous rejection of my secular life. I will include just how many in my family slept around, how many kids in my class were raped, how much drugs and alcohol I’ve been exposed to, etc.- and nobody secular would jump up and defend my “story” because A. It would be no big deal.and B.there would be nothing to defend- since its a life we all know too well. I long for a day where my children will be so protected, and a community where defeding each other is the norm.

Thank You Deborah. It took your lies to realize my truth. – S. Simon