Is your super bowl party this frum?

I think a dozen people must have sent me this email titled “this is the funniest thing you will read today” and I only opened it because I decided that some of the people sending it may not actually have a virus, it wasn’t the funniest thing, but it was pretty funny.

In search of – Place for Super Bowl Party

Posted by:
Wed Feb 1, 2012 9:31 am

Are you going to someone else’s for a Super Bowl Party? Will your tv
be alone for the Super Bowl? A group of guys with no tv is looking to
rent the living room of someone’s house/apartment to watch the Super
Bowl. Please let me know if interested.

—–
Hi,

I live in KGH, mamesh 4 minute walk from Lander College.  I will be
watching the game by my inlaws who arent so frum so i will not be home
all day on sunday.  I have a 42 in tv in my bedroom.  I dont have it
in my living room because I dont want my children to know we have a tv
in the house, chas v’shalom even see me watching it.  I only watch
sports anyways.

I have no problem  with a few guys renting my apartment to watch the
game.  There are just a few conditions I need to make %100  sure will
be kept.

1) Any food brought into my house must be Cholov Yisroel (even thought
no shtark bocher is going to be eating dairy during the big game).
Most importantly, every thing must be Yashan.  I take it very
seriously.  Some Yidden are of the opinion that that Yashan is just a
chumra.  Thats fine, those are the same people that dont wear hats and
jackets while they are davening.  Its pashut to me that Yashan is not
a chumra, but im not going to get into the details right now.

2)If my wife is still in Niddah, then you can probrally fit about 5 to
6 folding chairs between our beds.  Ill make sure to move the night
table that separtes our beds into the living room.  If she baruch
hashem is not in Nidda anymore, then you can probrally fit 3 to 4
chairs between out beds.  Oh, and please dont eat in my bedroom.

3)  I know this doesnt need to be said but I cant resist. THE TV MUST
BE TURNED OFF DURING THE HALFTIME SHOW!  I heard there was a mysa a
few years back where one of the woman involved in the show had a
“wardrobe malfunction.”  Well not in my house.

Ahh but you might say that Madonna is a real masmid of Kabullah and
she is on such a madreiga that the moment wont get to her.  I hear the
vort, but “safek d’orysa l’chumra” so I insist on that the half time
show is not to be watched in my home.

4) Hats and jackets MUST be worn to and from my apartment.  Once you
get inside you can dress however you want.  You can even wear a brooks
brothers light blue shirt for all I care.  I cant have my neighbors
see people coming in and out of my apartment that dont look like b’nei
toyrah.

5) Absolutely no gambling on the game in my house.  Gambling is for
modern orthodox people who think its “ok” as long as im not sitting at
a card table with another jew.  Wrong!  Not in my house.  I dont need
the pictures of my Rabbeim on the wall to see bochrim gambeling in my
apartment.

I am charging $36.00 dollars a head, two times chai, per person who
comes to watch by me.

If there is serious interest, please email me back soon so I can
figure out an excuse to tell my wife why we have to sleep by her
parents house sunday night.

I will tell you my exact address and the place i will leave the keys
at a later time.

Tizku L’mitsvos and LETS GO GIANTS!