I got into Jewish internet dating pretty early. Back in those days it was not something you bragged about and almost everyone said the same thing about online dating “it was creepy and best to be avoided”. Times have changed, the increasing amounts of older (24 is considered old in the Orthodox world) singles and the ability to stalk your potential dates on Facebook and Google has made online dating a must for any Orthodox person trying to find their mates.
I know it sounds strange, but many folks still feel that sites like Frumster (and orthodox version of Jdate) are immodest, that they allow girls and guys to just ask each other out in a non-traditional way. By non-traditional, I mean they don’t force the couple to work with a matchmaker. If you’re wondering what the Community thinks of Jdate, we really don’t think of it because it’s for the goyim. Basically, Jdate is so full of non-Jews that merely dabbling in it, is considered wrong by many.
Since Frumster was considered immodest, a new site called Saw You At Sinai was born. You fill out a profile, choose a couple of matchmakers and wait until your inbox is filled up with matches chosen by your matchmakers. After spending about two months on SYAS, I’ve decided that they must have outsourced their matchmakers to India because it seems to be completely random and not based on compatibility at all. Plus, the second you delete a potential match, they send you another one right away which is like a never ending smorgasbord with too many choices.
Then there was Shidduch Vision, I’m not sure if it was successful or not, but the basic premise was that long distance daters could come to a modest setting and have a private skype date. Why don’t they just log onto skype and do it themselves you ask. Well, that’s not how it works in the Orthodox world, you can’t just date as you please. Merely going on one date requires enough background information to think you were purchasing a Nuclear Arsenal for your republic.
The latest in the online dating offerings seems to be something that sounds a lot like eHarmony, sans the really annoying commercials. Your Bashert claims it matches you based on a compatibility questionnaire. I have no idea how this differs from SYAS or even Frumster. The site was founded by Dr. Yael Respler who is like the Orthodox Dr. Ruth, who writes a weekly column for the Jewish Press.
I prefer to use Facebook and the good old fashioned thing called friends to find ladies to date, but once again this can be deemed immodest (you will come to see that many things in the Orthodox community are deemed immodest). I hate to get too many parties involved and if you do get married from an internet site – many of them require that you give the robotic matchmaker from India something called shadchanus gelt (matchmaker salary bonus).
Find more internet shidduch dating at 4torah.com