I’m more of a pimp than a shadchan

The first gay shidduch I made has broken up, so I called up my friend the other day demanding my shadchanus gelt and my friend’s response was “what are you a pimp or something?” Which got me thinking about all of the pimping I’ve done indirectly. It’s true, lots of frum satire fans have gone out with each other and gotten some action. I know it’s wrong, but I shep mad nachas and get all happy when I learn of fans hooking up with each other because they met on my site. Technically speaking, I owe myself money for this reason.

I am always a bit shocked at how many people become friends, internet and real life, because of my site. They usually comment on my very public and active facebook wall and find each other that way. One thing leads to another and suddenly I am being held responsible in the beis din shel malah for lots of seed wastage and evil thoughts that I didn’t even get paid for. I should get paid, shouldn’t I. I mean, if you got some from a frum satire fan you should be at least donating something. Without my page, you would have spent hours on free porn sites and browsing fake craigslist NSA ads and instead I provided you with a safe environment to meet frum people to hook up with who probably were DD-Free.

So the gay shidduch broke up, they still had some good times right? So one of my biggest commentators just broke it off after 3 weeks with another reader – they still had some good moments right? What about the girls and guys who had some good tefillin datage because of me – I should be getting mine too, right?

So if you got some because of frum satire – let’s see some shadchanus gelt in that paypal inbox.

Find  a frum pimp on 4torah.com