Yes the rumors are true – I coerced someone into marrying me

This past Thursday night I coerced a hot chabad girl (she’s too tznius to be a Hot Chani) to marry me, I cornered her in a shul and gave her a nice necklace. Did you know that chabadniks don’t do engagement rings?  Yeah, something about the Rebbe and the Baal Shem Tov in a forest in Russia and not saying tachnun on random days when they left prison or escaped a pogrom (chassidic way of saying drunken brawl outside of an inn that turns into anti-Semitic rally) So anyway, I didn’t have to drop down any dough on a ring and got away with a cracker jack necklace. Crazy right?

So first things first, I should quell your fears, for I will not stop blogging once I abandon my independence and start having halachically sanctioned sex. In fact I have wondered for sometime about marriage blogging, I mean there’s tons of shit you can write about once you’re married that you wouldn’t be able to do as a single person. Sheitles, mikvah night (I have already written extensively about it) passing salt shakers while your wife’s a niddah, stroller comparisons, wedding plans, gifts, how to cut challah properly and having to deal with in-laws. Once kids hit the scene you start writing about poo and there’s not much better than writing about what you find in your children’s diapers.

The honest truth is, that I wasn’t going to publicize this event, but my future wife kind of demanded that I confirm the relationship status change on Facebook, I know a lot of you may not understand this, but I didn’t really want the attention. Of course, now that the cats out of the bag I just had to write about the darned thing, because the truth is there is much to discuss with the readers – like wedding plans and life plans and all that good stuff that Mommy Bloggers talk about, but mine will be a lot funnier of course.

God willing the wedding will be in California, but I’m planning on having some sort of engagement party in NY 3 weeks from today.