You know you’re not a yeshiva guy anymore when…

The fellow who started the following thread on Yeshiva World News‘ forum let me know about it so I copied and pasted a bunch of the more interesting postings here:

I was a real yeshiva guy. 14 years in yeshiva (high school inclusive), and over a decade living in the dorm. So, you could expect me to do pretty much all the stereotypical yeshiva guy things. (except smoke- I tried it a couple times, but I couldn’t tolerate it, luckily).

Last night, I realized that I had texted my friend that I had “pounded a bag of baby spinach.”

You know you’re not a yeshiva guy anymore when you “pound” a bag of baby spinach.

How do you know you’re not a yeshiva guy anymore?

When you start asking dumb questions when you learn.
You know you’re not a yeshiva guy anymore when you see a lomdushe abbreviation (eidus shebatlah miktzaza, kim ley bederabba miney, etc) and you draw a blank.
when yeshivishe shprach becomes more of a foreign language (for most of you this entire post will be foreign language)

You know you’re not a yeshiva guy anymore when you buy shoes because they’re comfortable, and not because the tips are more square-edged than the guy sitting next to you.

When you stop writing your name and restrictions on food labels: “this belongs to me, please ask permission before taking unless your mammesh hungry or thirsty ”

When you stop writing your name and restrictions on seforim : “this belongs to me, please ask permission unless you mammesh can’t find your gemara and you’re late to shiur and your rebbe is mad at you cause you always come late, then and only then can you take the gemara without permission but please return it to it’s makom kevua when your done.”

You know you’re not a yeshiva guy anymore when you are not embarrassed to be seen learning from an artscroll. (I’m still embarrassed)
You know you’re not a yeshiva guy anymore when you pass over some free furniture because it doesn’t match.
You know you’re not a yeshiva guy anymore when grilled cheese made on a space heater no longer sounds appealing. (in Rochester we used irons)
When earning an honest buck seems more honorable than sponging off the community.

When you stop eating cholent on Thursday night (SACRILEGE!!!!).

when you can no longer think of 100 uses for a wire hanger……

when the thought of having Cholent on Thursday night, Friday afternoon, Friday night, Shabos day, Motzai Shabos and Sunday makes you feel sick…..

when you stop looking at your feet as you dance at a chasuna….

when you start learning R’ Boruch Ber, R’ Shimon, R’ Naftoli etc. to get a better understanding of the Gemara and not the other way round…..

when you no longer care how wide the ribbon on your hat is…..

When you just sit and WATCH all the yeshiva guys dance, spin, do shtick and jump upside down and you think to yourself, “I remember when I used to be able to do that.”

Now all you do is get out of breath just WATCHING them do it!!!

When your only shaychis to a yeshiva is ywn.

You know you’re not a yeshiva guy anymore when you don’t GOBBLE down your food like a ravenous wolf (because you’re starving and/or because you want to eat it before another bachur grabs half of it!)

You know you’re not a yeshiva guy anymore when you start to respect your parents’ opinions on things, NOT just because of the mitzva of kibud av v’aym, but because you actually realize that their opinions just MIGHT be right!

The difference between a yeshiva guy and ‘baalabayis’ is…

Yeshiva guys eat chulent Thursday night, Friday/Shabbas night, Shabbas lunch.

A ‘baalabayis’ eats chulent Shabbas lunch, Sunday night, Monday night, Tuesday night – ’till it’s all gone!

Find out more about yeshiva on 4torah.com

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