Select-o-vision glasses will revolutionize the frum world.
New invention gives religious men the ability to make distasteful images invisible and see the world as they want to see it — their way.
Cambridge, MA October 25, 2011 — MIT engineers and Israeli start-up entrepreneurs team up to create sunglasses that filter unwanted images.
The frum world has been waiting a long time for this incredible invention, and we are proud to announce that scientists [*] have finally created the perfect sunglasses for any religious person. The sunglasses come with image-sensor technology and are fully programmable to filter out unwanted images. “Over the course of the next year, we expect to release many versions of these specs to target different market segments.” said Ro’i Chaser of Frumprovements, the marketing partner associated with this venture.
The first version addresses the biggest problem in the orthodox community — women. The sunglasses are engineered to detect the female form and will block the image so the wearer cannot see women. This will solve the current problem in Meah Shearim and in Williamsburg, where women blatantly walk outside on the public sidewalks.
An enhanced version due next spring will allow a fummy to walk along the beaches of Tel Aviv without being able to see any bikini-clad women. Product testers have been reported walking the topless beaches of Eilat with these sunglasses on and early indications are that they do a great job of filtering at least 75% of the women bathers.
Investors expect this product to easily cross -over to the Arab market with versions that filter out women and also allow the viewer to watch American movies by removing the images of Jewish actors too.
Another line of the specs are engineered to removed the images of unwanted buildings. “We expect thousands of these to be sold at the Kotel. Visitors will be able to stare at the wall without seeing any mosques in the background.” said Ro’i. Product testers have reported that seeing the Kotel without any mosques reminds them of all the pictures of the Kotel they see Jewish stores in the Rova.
“We have also started to get requests for Modern Orthodox versions of these glasses that allow the wearer not to see any meshulachim that come to the door collecting tzedaka for their yeshivas.” Said Ro’i
Select-o-vision specs are expected to be a must-have accessory for anyone in the frum community who wants to erase the existence of women and other undesirable images. No longer will frum publications have to airbrush women out of newsworthy pictures, since the glasses will automatically do this. Bus stops with suggestive ads will no longer be torched down. Frum people will be able to see the world as they want to see it. Their way. As it should be.
Investment inquiries should be sent to Lifne Iver Ltd.
“We’ll never see them coming.”
Phone number: 888-new-frum
Rachel Azaria, director of PR
[email protected] MenRuleTheWorld Ltd.
[*] Please note that despite this invention being created by scientists, going to college is still totally ussur and science goes against the Torah.
Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lukeroberts/3024440832/