Yom Kippur pickup lines

I don’t know about you, but while I am clopping numerous Al Chaits all I can think about is how I am going to be able to clop the chest of that hottie across the mechitza and it’s so God and his co-conspirator the yetzer harah to put the craziest thoughts of the past years inducing sexual experiences into my head during musaf – I can imagine God and his henchman laughing at all the boners going on during musaf. 

I’d love to open up your gates during neilah

Need some help with those chest clops?

You need not worry, the halacha is only against marital relations

How about some saliva swapping to make the fast day go by quicker

Wow, your crocs are so sexy

Don’t worry, I have some synthetic non-leather whips we can use

Noticed you during yizkor – your moms dead too?

You don’t have to swallow if you’re fasting

Every time I look at you, I need to say another al chait

Hungry? I’ll give you something to eat

Do you always look this good, or are you fasting?

Why don’t you meet me under talis during duchening

Everything we do during the Rabbis sermon will be forgiven during musaf

Don’t worry about your breath, we can skip the four play

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