RE: The different crises of the frum community

For those of you who didn’t read last weeks post and comments on the different crises plaguing the frum community over the years, the following comment from Andonymous who was featured on erev tisha b’av as the author of the modern day eicha – made the following gem of a comment.

Some crises I would expect to see in the future:

-The “Somebody jizzed in the chulent and it’s not batul b’shishim” crisis
-The “My ambiguously gay younger brother is coming for Shabbos and I don’t want him meeting my kiddish club buddies” crisis
-The “Herpes on the bedikah cloths sold in Judaica stores” crisis
-The “Black male converts making white Jews feel inferior and insecure at the mikvah” crisis
-The “Sexting on Shabbos crisis”
-The “Kashrus symbol differentiation overload fatigue” crisis
-The “Queefing in the Ezras Nashim on Shabbos morning” crisis
-The “Ocean Parkway traffic on Motzei Shabbos” crisis
-The “Weird non-Jewish old ladies who show up to Chabad events” crisis
-The “Sexually-suggestive-while-eating-sushi teenage Bais Yaakov girls” crisis
-The “Autoerotic Asphyxiation using Tallis and/or Tefillin straps” crisis
-The “Off the derech vehicle” crisis
-The “Bugs in the coffee enema on Yom Kippur or Tisha B’Av” crisis
-The “Mexican laborers using live poultry on farms for cult worship of Avodah Zarah” crisis
-The “Bugs in the bedikah cloths” crisis
-The “Landing strip shave rash” crisis
-The “Tempur-pedic” crisis
-The “Gerbil and/or hamster to’evah” crisis
-The “Only minimum payments made on credit cards” crisis
-The “Accidentally sitting in dog sh*t in the Great Lawn on Summer Shabbos afternoons” crisis
-The “Container Store” crisis
-The “SAT prep classes” crisis
-The “Vaginismus in the Catskills” crisis
-The “Hot Chani inflamed buttcrack from uncomfortable posture while driving the SUV” crisis
-The “Jews for Jesus” crisis
-The “Price is Right” crisis
-The “Half-boob graze while on line for the Monsey Trails bus” crisis

If you’re frum and with it, crisis is the new black!

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