The guide to getting busy in the shidduch world

by Anshel M.

Busy.  “Officially busy”.  Meaning too busy to date anyone but a certain someone else.  Meaning the death knell to singlehood, whether it be his, hers or yours (IY”H by you, of course).

Beginner’s Busy: One bochur I know panicked in one of his recent encounters and told a girl that he was busy, but with his upcoming finals week, thereby allowing her to believe that he’d be contacting her at some point the following week.  It’s now past the middle of summer and she’s either still waiting for his e-mail or married with three kids by now.  The best part is that he wasn’t even dating anyone else; he just hadn’t learned how to deliver a friendly rejection yet.

Getting Busy: This is the busy used when you’re having too much fun dating the person that’s all wrong for you.  Questions?

Dirt Bag Busy: You can always use the, “I’m busy, but in case anything changes, why not give me your phone number?” smooth talk, thus revealing your one-foot-out-the-door charm.  Sure it makes you feel sorry for the currently misled ones, but the chutzpah is attractive, you’ve gotta admit.

Busy with Bitachon:  “Officially” busy without shame or the fear of never getting another date again should it not work out.  Takes more guts than some of us have, sadly.

Got a Busy Life: These swinging frumsters are so wrapped up in their merry mitzvah making that they don’t know when they’ll possibly have time to travel to you…but would you like to talk in the meantime?  Do you have Skype?  What they’d like to be able to say is that they’re not flying to your area until at least three dates are lined up, and not all with the same person.  Whether they’re frugal, a dirt bag or just plain disinterested, you’ll never know until they actually show up…or don’t.

Busy In Brooklyn: There’s no sense in ruining your local possibilities too.  Just have a different relationship status in every Jewish community and don’t get your story lines twisted.

Too Busy for Buddies: No longer acting like your old friend, these guys suddenly adopt a tone of either the blissful or the resigned sheep to the slaughter, it could go either way.  Keep in mind that this conversation is only played out when you run into them on the street after they’ve disappeared on you for weeks.  No one will ever admit to their buddies that they’re suddenly busy until they’re on their way to their own l’chaim, c’mon.

Brokeback Busy: Do I even need to explain this one? He’s not on the market, sweetheart, and he never was.  You’re the one that thought moving to New York to get married was a good idea.

Burgeoning Busy: You hate to admit it, but it’s closing in on you.  You went over on your mobile minutes two months in a row and you’ve been caught smiling while you’re text messaging.  See?  You just walked into a tree.  You’re pathetic.  Now go change your relationship status on Facebook, you big wimp.

Learn more about the fine art of Jewish matchmaking on 4torah.com

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