The chumra crisis: We need more chumras

You may have also noticed this trend, but I have been alarmed by the fact that no new chumras have been created by the gedolim or their funders for some time. Back during the mid 2000’s it seemed like there were new chumras created every week. The staff here at Frum Satire would debate them endlessly until we finally conceded that keeping them would improve our shidduch resumes and give us a better chance at one upping our neighbors in the endless battle to maintain that we are in fact frummer than our neighbors.

I remember when we pissed and moaned about not being able to eat strawberries, wear red or drink the tap water in New York City. I even remember when the Rabbis decided to ban vacationing in Miami because there beaches there, many wondered if Long Island would also be banned (apparently the askanim supporting the ban wanted people to vacation in Far Rockaway instead because there were no modern orthodox people there who could influence women to wear bikin’s and snoods at the same time) I remember when it was finally agreed upon the majority of the frum community that any wedding without a mechitza was not really frum after all – thank God the Rabbis created the “separate seating at all frum events” chumra back in the 60’s or who knows what kind of divorce we would have now.

You can see why I am dismayed, it’s like the Gedolim have given up on us. Do they think that the internet has weakened our souls that much, I’m sorry that they lost the battle against the evil savage internet, but that’s no reason to give up. It is true that any school that is a true house of Torah still requires you to sign that you do not have the internet (which has created a lot of lying within the community) Have you given up on us, do you think us not at the level that our previous generation was?

Was the previous generation really that much frummer, they couldn’t download porn in the privacy of their homes, sneaking a TV into the house in a refrigerator box was much harder than having a smart phone and cheating on youyr wife with someone frum took a lot more than going to craigslist (you had to really have an”in” I assume)

I would assume that this generation, the age of everything instant is on a much higher madreiga, we have sunk so far down in many ways that it’s harder to rise up – so do us a favor and give us a challenge – we need MORE chumras. We need to have something to make us think twice before doing it and there’s nothing like a Yiddish document signed by a bunch of big name gedolim (who had no idea what they were signing) telling us that something is banned to get us out of our sunken madreiga.

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