Fun things that piss off frum people

jew talkingThinking of the lists that Heshy and other contributors are making, I thought of another one — things that piss of frum people, but the items themselves might not really be all that bad.  And these are fun to orchestrate if you can.

Sure the gays piss off frum people and so do people who insist on paying with the credit card, send their frum kids to public school, or vote for liberals.  But those are too easy  and no fun to poke at.  I was thinking of the more peculiar annoyances.

  1. Bad Good Shabboses.  There are many variations of this theme.  e.g. when Conservative Jews yell out “Gut Shabbos” while I’m walking to shul, but while they’re driving to their shul.  When people who are dressed all weekday-ish pass by and say “Gut shabbos” to a group of people clearly dressed for shabbos.  When non-Jews say “happy sabbath”.  When people say good shabbos on yom tov.  When the zealously bnei-akiva guy insists on “ShaBAAT ShaLOOOM” to everyones’ “gut SHAAbes”.
  2. Women acting empowered. Many examples of this one too — everything from women wearing kippot, tallit, tefilin, insisting on carrying a Torah, answering “Amen Yehei Shmei Rabbah” really loudly and with a yeshivish whine, bowing down all the way on Yom Kippur, dancing on Sinchat Torah, making the Hamotzie because they can, telling the men to leave the table so that they can have a women’s mezuman.  Even just walking around the shul with a gemara will get people pissed off.
  3. Baali Teshuvas when they are right. They have this uncanny ability to remember the easily forgotten  halachot that they just learned.  Pisses me off when they carefully say “I don’t think you are allowed to squeeze the tea bag on shabbos”,  “My rabbi says you cannot use that kind of sponge.” Doh — the’re right.  damn.
  4. Non-Jews who know Torah.  This one give frummies the total creepies.  There are non-Jews who can read the Torah, learned gemara, and know enough yeshivish to be the building manager of the entire borough of Queens.  Scary.  Especially when they are 99% on target with their cultural understanding of our society but then blow it on a detail (like thinking we actually drink Manachevitz).
  5. Comments on blogs.  Seems like the worst thing you can do is comment on a post on VIN or YWN in support of the person they are trying to trash in their “objective” news story.  Any hint that you are on the wrong side of their haskafa, and you can attract an army of comments back.  Fun on a lazy Sunday.
  6. Non-Frum Spiritualism. Like those guys who wear ponytails and tcheiles tzisis on their heavy Mexican Baja ponchos and totally know all of kabalah and all the most esoteric gemaras that make absolutely no sense, but they never show up at minyan, never shower, and occasionally show up at a shiva minyan with a wacky pot-inspired dvar torah that is full of sources that you can’t shulg-up.
  7. Vegetarian and sushi places located right in middle of the Jewish Community. Obvious safe-treif opportunities  — lost.

How else can you piss off frummies?