What’s under the modest swimwear?

burkini Recently, a company in Israel advertised their modest swimwear for frum women on many Jewish community e-mail lists.  One list member asked me the obvious question, and it has bothered me since.  What is the point of  modest swimwear?  Do frum women wear modest swimwear when they go mixed swimming?  Frum women don’t swim with men anyway. Since they are swimming with other women, why need the extra modesty? What do they care if they are showing thigh?

Men are hardly modest around other men.  Just go to a men’s mikva (especially the one at Telz) and you’ll see just how casual we are about modesty. It is a freaking dangle-fest. So why do frum women need modest swimwear? I’m sure that when women are around each other, they are as casual as we are.  C’mon, I watch those caged-women-in-prison-showers movies on cable, they comb their hair and soap up without even thinking about a towel.  Super casual jiggle-fest.  So why the burkini?

It must be that modest swimwear is really a ploy by the super liberal leftist orthodox feminists who are really trying to get us back to the days of mixed swimming — which will lead to mixed dancing, and adult parties — with the bowl full of car keys (remember those parties?).

In that case, I’m all for it. I think once they break down the mixed swimming barrier, we’ll be able to get back to the kind of frum community we all really want.  The kind where Young Israel members hold mixed toga parties for married adults.  You can wear “modest swimwear” underneath, or better yet go alfresco.  BTW, the burkinis are real — and so are the toga parties in the frum community.  Coincidence?  I don’t think so.