Japanese lab invents internet kissing machine

I’m not sure how I feel about kissing a machine that allows you to kiss folks over the internet, but I’m sure someone will find some use for it. I always wanted my first kiss to be special with a real person, though I feel this kissing machine may actually be better practice then kissing myself in the mirror or practicing with my pillow for the big day when I finally get to kiss a real girl in the yichud room.

Japan is kind of known for its sex toys, I was reading in some magazine that sex robots may become the next biggest thing, though I can’t imagine how you be able to fulfill your Friday night mitzvah option, unless you made shabbos late enough – but then it wouldn’t be shabbos and you wouldn’t get the double mitzvah now, would you?

Could the kissing machine be a solution to the shidduch crisis, many folks do not want to date out of town girls because it’s long distance and the chances of some shidduch date nookie are so slim (unless the date invites you to crash at her house) that the kissing machine may actually be able to fill in for those missed chances and you would be in the halachic clear since there is no touching.

Even though this kissing machine is technically a way to bypass shomer negiah, it’s probably still assur, unless it’s not done in yichud. I wonder if kissing your girl over the internet in public is akin to public affection displays, or really darned strange.

Halachic issues that may arise should you purchase this kissing machine:

You may have to kasher it for fleishig and milchig, since the machine becomes hot and you may have eaten something charif before – the machine may actually take on some flavor. I have wondered if kissing someone who had just eaten steak is a problem if you just ate cheese.

You may have to purchase a new machine for pesach, also be sure to check that the device contains no chometz or kitnyos on the parts that go into your mouth.

Does this break any of the shomer negiah laws?

Can you set the shabbos clock for your machine?

If you are not in yichud and you don’t see the person you are kissing, is it ok?

Can you use this to kiss your wife and/or children from far away – will it allow for cheek pecks, or is it just for French kissing which is not appropriate for children.