I’m not the hugest fan of making lists, but every once in a while I like to bust them out and this came to mind late Thursday night when I opened an email from a fan of mine who attends Ramaz and had an argument with someone there about whether Drakes Cakes were goyishe or Jewish and I really don’t know what the answer is, but if you asked me whether Pork or Cheeseburgers were goyishe or Jewish – I would have to say Jewish – since both are hated, revered and brought up to prove many Jewish points – I would label them as Jewish and not goyishe.
I had a pretty deep list by the time (aprox. 1 in the morning pacific time) I decided to post this idea to Facebook. Typically when I post an idea to facebook I may get upwards of 50 comments. I asked people to give me ideas for really goyishe things (I warned them not to be cheesy – still some people said things like “having concerts during the three weeks and omer”) and within several minutes there were 200 comments – no joke – as of now there are 425 comments on the facebook status update – a personal record.
This list can easily be extended to 1000’s of items long and I kind of want to do similar lists for each sect within Judaism and I hope that you folks can come up with some good ideas, but please keep away from the cheese. I tried to think of things that are REALLY Goyishe and you will notice that I tried to stay away from things like food and places that are very goyishe because that’s too easy.
1. Pork Rinds
2. Surf and Turf
3. Hunting
4. Highschool Football
5. Prom
6. Candy Apples
7. Taxidermy
8. Long stem roses
9. Mini-skirts
10. BDSM
11. Renewing their vows
12. Yachts
13. Country Clubs
14. Blond wavy hair
15. Sun rooms
16. Backyard barbecues
17. Garage Sales
18. Country Music
19. Utah
20. Foreskins
21. Beer cans
22. Mood lighting
23. Tanning salons
24. Truck stops
25. Dinner parties
26. Spam
27. Diesel Pickup trucks
28. Napa Valley
29. Jesus
30. Monster trucks
31. Lawn care
32. Chewing tobacco
33. Nascar
34. Sports bars
35. Working on the car
36. Spandex
37. Horse back riding
38. Williams Sonoma
39. Pimping the car
40. Hooters
41. Tramp stamps
42. Saturday morning cartoons
43. Brunch
44. Power tools
45. Segways
46. Body shots
47. Bar fights
48. Carhart
49. Overalls
50. Darts
51. Corduroy
52. Mullets
53. Rat Tails
54. Cut off shorts
55. Strippers (strip clubs are inherently Jewish though)
56. Badminton
57. Polo
58. Horse Racing
59. Tailgating
60. Chain restaurants
61. Caviar
62. Whistling
63. Jihad
64. Cracker Barrel (certain chains are kind of Jewish, but cracker barrel is very goyishe)
65. Sailing
66. Trailer Parks
67. Power tools
68. C-shifts
69. Unions (this was not the case 50 years ago)
70. Fish Fridays
71. Wonder Bread
72. Civil War reenactments
73. Renascence fairs
74. Boars Head
75. Six Packs
76. Skatebaording
77. Rodeos
78. State Troopers
79. Waltzing
80. Kite Flying
81. Geocaching
82. Hipsters
83. Jumping rope
84. Truck driving
85. Stinky Cheese
86. Aperitif
87. Fencing
88. Curling
89. Bloodwurst
90. Family reunions
91. Memorial t-shirts (popular in the African American community)
92. Trough toilets
93. Prep school
94. Jock straps
95. Tea
96. Model Trains
97. Keggers
98. Chain Wallets
99. Shrines
185 comments for “99 really goyishe things”