5 ways that frum women can empower themselves

Frum and Feminsim are two words that are typically not used in the same sentence and when they are, it is to ridicule or accuse someone of not being frum because they have feminist tendencies, for instance Sara Hurwitz the first orthodox Rabbi isn’t frum because she shows her ervah – not her boobs, but her bangs. Everyone likes a little power once in a while and if you frummies really want to get a taste of feminism without actually being called a feminist (this will destroy your childrens chances of pursuing a life of welfare and Lakewood) here is a list of things you can do. I would recommend that only women on a really high spiritual level attempt the following things, because you may actually become a feminist when you realize the true power that comes with throwing off the yoke kitchen and baby making duties for things like kissing the Torah and woman’s megillah readings.

Come to shul on the weekdays: I just love watching men scramble when a woman shows up on a weekday for shul. It is rare, but I have seen my fair share of ladies show up to say kadesh (and men wondering why because apparently it doesn’t count) and the Rabbi act fast when it comes time to throw up the makeshift mechitza they have stored in the shaimos room for the stray woman that wonders in to show that she can also bust out some mitzvah z’man gramas if she wants to.

Screw with your mikvah schedule: Sex is probably the most powerful tool a woman has at her disposal and does your husband really know that you faked the brown spot on the bedikah cloth so you started counting all over again, sure he figure out when he’s gone 3 months without hearing the mikvah night cd, but you will feel empowered.

Become the official mechitza curtain opener: Many shuls employ a curtain style mechitza so it can be opened during the Rabbis speech, it is usually opened by a man to show that the men have power over the women, experience the thrill of whipping that curtain open a bit early (like before they finish closing the ahron)

Burn the cholent: There is nothing more horrible than a burnt a cholent, especially when you make it so it smells good, but comes out burnt. I’m not exactly sure how this could empower you, but Jewish women feel empowered when they do all sorts of strange things – like wear yarmulkes, put on tefillin and lain – though for some reason I have never seen a woman do hagbah leading me to think that they understand their limitations and only want to do spiritual things which put them on a higher spiritual level than they are already.

Claim shalom bayis: I always hear of folks doing stuff for shalom bayis, so the next time you want to feel empowered, or just coerce the men in your lives to do something they don’t want to – scream shalom bayis. It;s similar to the way everyone claims anti-Semitism whenever someone frum gets thrown in jail for something they obviously had in mind was a mitzvah – so to screaming shalom bayis can work wonders for your self esteem and feminist tendencies.