Typically the term Makpid is used in conversations about eating pas yisroel or checking your potato skins for bugs, but those folks who read the yeshiva world news forums are quite frummy and when you’re a real frummy you can use terms like this to ask if people are serious about finding a mate they are attracted to, because after all the point of marriage is to have kids, replenish the population and we cannot do this without being able to get it up.
I have a feeling that most frum men who refrained from any sexual acitivity prior to marrige, those same folks who say things like “are you makpid on looks?” won’t have any trouble getting it up enough to pop out a couple of kids regardless of whether their wives have that come hither look to them, but it is a question that gets thrown around quite a bit in the shidduch world.
You see, if you are makpid on looks (care about looks) it makes you look shallow or picky and if you aren’t makpid on looks it makes you look desperate right? So it’s basically a lose-lose situation and you might as well be makpid on looks in the first place.
I find the whole discussion kind of nuts, because although there is such a thing as universal hotness, it doesn’t really happen much in the frum community. With the baggy clothing and skirts it’s hard to really gauge what’s going on under all that material and since the wedding night is supposed to be lights off, the first time you get to see anything is after you’re married and it’s already too late – you can’t just divorce em then – you have to wait at least until after the sheva brachos which have all been planned in advance.
I myself was never makpid on looks, I know some of you idiots find that hard to believe, but I’m actually being serious. I never demanded to see pictures of folks people wanted to set me up with and was always a bit more personality based – I always said I’d rather a kick ass brain than a kick ass bod – although having both is quite nice and something to behold. Sure, I like em hot, but what the heck does that mean anyway? Hot is different to everyone right? For instance I have a few friends that I always try to set up, but what they and I find attractive seem two completely different things.
Yes I want to look at my wife and say damn girl, I can go for some of that pie right now, but hotness fades – unless you’re a triathlete or something, but the brain and coolness can only get better. You know what, I think coolness is most important, if they can’t handle toilet humor, big mountains and some deep philosophical conversations about urine color – I want nothing to do with it.
Are you makpid on looks?