I hate body wash

The first time I experienced body wash, I was stunned at the stupidity, what was wrong with a simple bar of soap – did they realize how hard it was to get lather up with liquid that was constantly being washing off and having to keep squeezing more out of the bottle? Body wash is like built in obsolecence for body cleaning – you buy a bottle and use a heck of a lot more quicker than with bar soap and it pisses me off.

Yes I completely understand those folks who don’t want stray pubic hairs showing up after a guest uses their bar of soap, I don’t like these people who really make a big deal about others using their bar and therefore force us to use liquid soap, but I understand them. Body wash sucks, anyone who truly values a good bar of soap can relate, but modern “conveniences” have skewed public opinion to the point that when I stay in people’s houses they hide all the bar soap and give me a mini body wash bottle.

Then they invented these body wash receptacles, the modern day wash cloth is not made of cloth and doesn’t do much washing. In fact, the first time I saw one of these supposed wash cloths hanging from the shower faucet, I thought it was a douche, I was scared to touch it and wondered why these frummies would just keep their vaginal cleaning aides sitting in the shower in plain view when they would never publicly admit that they had vaginas in the first place. Of course, years later, at about the same time I learned the difference between “your” and “you’re” I learned what exactly a douche bag was and the wash cloth for body wash it was not.