TSA scanners are untznius according to everybody

At first glance, being a TSA scanner operator seems like a pretty good gig. You have a decent paid union job to sit around and watch a continuous flow of naked people all day long. I can imagine that the gig would be even better at an international airport, so the foreigners would bring the obesity rate down a notch and provide for better viewings. To tell the truth I’m kind of curious about everyday naked folks, porn is too unrealistic. I’ve really dated only two girls with porn star bodies and one of them was a convert so she didn’t count, but everyday naked people – now that’s cool and should be super interesting. I can imagine that certian passengers will be randomly picked out of line many times for detailed searches.

It’s the average folks who always surprise, they may have crazy underwear, ridiculous piercings or strange designs made with pubic hair may be just a few of the interesting things you can see on a daily basis. Doesn’t sound like a bad gig to me at all, unless you happen to be one of those unfortunate folks who have to walk through the darned thing – then it gets iffy.

When I first heard all the commotion going on I wondered what the big deal was, I figured it was the tznius police again, those holier than thou folks who are constantly complaining about women roaming the streets in red or denim skirts. I figured it was just another stink by the ultra orthodox Jewish media – something I could ignore, like most of the stinks, but then I saw a news story today about this man in Colorado (no relation to any of the local tznius police forces of vaad hatznius agencies) who invented TSA Scanner Proof Underwear. Tznius is one thing when it comes to clothing, it clearly states in the bible that women should cover their elbows and knees and the rabbis reiterate this throughout the eons, but not once does the Torah or any of it;s commentaries speak of modest undergarments and after reading about the tznius under invention to prevent TSA agents from seeing one’s ervah (front private part area, seeing someone’s butt is actually not a conflict with the laws of tznius because all butts look the same and one could actually make the nook of their elbow look like a butt – this may be the reason that the Torah banned women from showing their elbows, because when the elbow was bent it may look like their butt)

Why have none of the commentaries discussed the modesty of underwear? Shouldn’t all articles of clothing be tznius? Should a gust of wind come and blow the skirt of a woman up, should her undergarments happen to be nude colored, see through or those garter belts no front patch type – this could cause multiple sins to take place, yet the Rabbis throughout the ages gave no mention. Many Rabbis have already agreed that tznius does not apply to undergarments since the only people looking at a ladies undergarments are the Rabbi and the mikvah lady and those undergarments will not be worn at the time of inspection.

I am just as troubled as you folks are, I cannot believe that the Rabbis could not have ruach hakodesh to see what would happen, what the Arabs would go through to cause shame on the daughters of Yishmael’s brother. They have finally caused terror, not only on the girls, but this time they struck gold by forcing the daughters and sons of Israel to bare their milah and ervah to everyone behind the scanner screen, our fellow Jews (the one’s who can afford to fly are obviously not that frum or else they would be learning in kollel) are suffering through this shame and terror, but luckily one of the hidden tzadikim has shown his face today – The Ebishter has brought this man in Colorado to be our savior so we can fly without bearing all.