Bestiality is it really that big a deal?

I really love Dan Savage, for some reason two of my of favorite humorists are gay and both have the same initials, Dan Savage and David Sedaris, either way, I’ve been watching a whole slew of Dan Savage videos this week and he sounds so much more non-pretentious in person than in his column. I found the following videos where he talks about bestiality and the strangest letter he ever got from anyone (I am a little shocked that Dan Savage could find anything weird)

I know some of you may find this hard to believe, but after watching that video I got to thinking about bestiality, no I am not interesting in placing my ervah into domestic pets or farm animals, but what’s the big deal, it’s not hurting anyone is it? You may say the animal isn’t consenting to it, but when’s the last time an animal asked the shochet to slaughter him for cholent meat.

But Heshy it’s against the Torah, if we allow bestiality the next thing you know people are going to want to marry their horses. I have never met anyone in my entire life who was into animals, sure me and my friends have by accidentally stumbled upon women doing strange things with horses, but we’ve looked more out of curiosity, kind of like when passing a car accident, you’re curious so you take a peek, but immediately wish you hadn’t. (I swear the yetzer harah made me do it)

This reminds me of the most popular mussar schmooze of the year at my yeshiva – it was about how screwing horses and men was assur. There were two favored lines, the one where the Rosh Yeshivas brother would put up his fingers and show us the right and wrong way to have sex and then he would compare that to having sex with Mr. Ed, even beis medrish guys showed up to that one.

See I’m a true leave people alone kind of guy, if you aren’t hurting anyone, infringing on their self preservation as my man Locke would say – who cares? I’m not about legislating morality, because my morals aren’t your morals. This is one of the reasons I don’t understand the anti-anyone who isn’t straight and prude like us mentality. Just because you’re into the opposite sex, doesn’t mean you are playing nicely, you may be tying each other up with chains and beating each other senselessly (I actually have a fan who is part of this whole ring of Frum BDSM people) It’s consensual man!

But what about incest? Hey if it’s consensual I’m down – not like ‘I’m down, but just don’t tell me about it.’ You see I find plenty of things disgusting, I’m a romantic, I find it sick when people are sucking tongue in the subway right next to me, so I find a new car, they have their rights.

For some reason, the response I hear most commonly to why something shouldn’t be allowed is that it’s disgusting – what about non-consensual shortening of childrens sexual organs? But that’s different, because it’s a religious right. But what I find disgusting shouldn’t infringe on what others find fun or attractive.

You could argue that it’s against the Torah and that everyone including the non-Jews who need to keep sheva mitzvos benei noach regardless of whether they know about them or not.  I’m sure some of you are thinking that the Bay Area must be getting to me. It is, but not in the ways you are all assuming, and that is for another post.