Get your esrog insurance here

Thanks to Laura who found this on Col Live

This comment from the post is priceless:

last year i bought an esrog for abt 450 it was a very nice looking one and since i spent so much money i decided to buy insurance for five $ never did i imagine that i would have to use it just i though that for 450 i might want some insurance well on the first day of succos i was walking down kingston with my gorgeous esrog and and i triped over the garbage bags outside kultov and my beautiful gorgeous esrog for 450 fell on to the ground and the pitom fell off while i was crying bitter bitter tears i remmebered my insurance and i was not so gloomy any more so i went to the esrog house to get my replacement and when i got there they gave me a grossly disgusting poor excuse for an esrog needless to say i was very miserable the whole rest of yomtov moral of the story this year im buying TWO 450 $ esrogim and i am NOT buying insurance

I have always thought about the broken pitom thing as a scam, you know, they are so flimsy anyway – who’s to say that the esrog sellers don’t purposefully sell esrogim with weak pitoms to children and unsuspecting BT’s who haven’t yet learned the art of esrog handling.

I heard from someone that he couldn’t get esrog insurance for his children because the insurance salesman noticed that his kids were wild and said that they had a right to refuse insurance based on a number of ailments. The salesman noted that adults were refused esrog insurance for restless leg syndrome, old age, long beards (likely to get stuck on pitom) and to women (since women weren’t required to have their own esrog they may not treat it with as much kavod as the men) and of course to children (they had no concept of respect and sure as hell weren’t used to handling fruit) people with terretz syndrome, gays (they tend to stand very close to the guy in front of them during hoshanos)

Luckily for us chronic pitom breakers, most esrogim don’t come wrapped in pubic hair anymore – I have such fond memories of esrog packaging hair…