Earlier today a Tornado touched down in New York destroying trees, cars, homes and bringing traffic to a halt, as can be expected the the frum community reacted in a variety of ways, some folks thought moshiach was coming and others thought it to be a pre-yom kippur warning for all of the abominations that go on in the city.
Woman in Boro Park: I was walking down 56th street from 14th avenue when I felt a tug at my sheitle, I looked up at the quickly darkening sky and said a kapital tehilim, I was scared when it started to rain – I didn’t want for sheitle to get wet chas v’shalom. Just as I was finishing my tehilim the wind gusted and blew my sheitle off, it was pouring and the water was streaming into my eyes as I ran down the block chasing my sheitle, I ran all the way to 13th avenue where, through the streams of water gushing down my face I could see dozens of women screaming – running down the block trying to cover their shaved heads so no men may see the scalp of a married woman – chasing their sheitlach. I was terrified for my children – would their shidduch market values plummet if their mother was seen with her scalp uncovered? I was even more terrified of my husband who would demand to know why his wife was seen uncovered running down 13th avenue chasing a rolling sheitle.
Chabad Baal Teshuva: I was at 770 when the storm hit, the rain was so heavy that everyone hanging out on the steps leading down into the beis medrish retreated inside, Charlie Buttons was saying that moshiach was on his way, others were chanting yechi – I had just finished writing a letter to the rebbe which I was going to fax to his apartment at the ohel. Suddenly the power went out and everyone cheered, it appeared that moshiach was on his way, frantic chanting grew louder and louder until I realized that everyone was trying to see the Rebbe, the lights came back on and everyone started trying to see if they could open to the right page of the rebbe’s letters to prove that he was back from his vacation that started in 1994.
Yeshivish Hocker Guy in his late 30’s who thinks he’s so smart: I was driving my escalade and suddenly it started raining really hard, I turned on my sirens to get through traffic and noticed trees falling down left and right, I laughed at all the liberals driving their compact cars as they shook in the wind, I called my hot chanie wife to see how her sushi date went and then continued driving, running over little Asian delivery boys and compact cars as I drove with to some hatzoloh call. I knew it had to be the gays, those disgusting abominations, right before Yom Kippur, it was all kappara for their sins.
Vos Iz Neias Commenter: Not only was I there, I saw the hand of God, I saw dozens of nissim, like the guy who started hydroplaning and than corrected his car magically and drove to safety. I knew it had to be the geulah, why else would Hashem bring such a devatstiting storm to the frum community? Moshiach must be here or maybe it’s a wake up call to klal yisrael to stop sinning.
Hot Chanie: OMG we were sitting in sushi metsuyan and thinking about those poor ugly people walking with newspapers trying to cover their heads, you expect me to go outside in the rain in my $5,000 sheitle – uhuh. I’m glad we cut down all the trees in front of our house, it really makes it look so much bigger and the neighbors can see our Roman columns.