Most Illicit thoughts on Yom Kippur

I always say that during musaf of Yom Kippur is when the dirtiest most whacked out thoughts come into my head. All the lady “experiences” of the past year shuffle through as if they were taunting me and all of my sins replay in my head and sometimes I even burst out laughing at the thought of my evil ways, so ironic that my friend who came for Rosh Hashanah gave me the idea of the most illicit thoughts during Yom Kippur.

My Most Illicit Thoughts on Yom Kippur:

Oh how I wish they would bust out a heicha kedusha

Water running past my knuckles – ahhhh!

Maybe after I wash my fingertips I could by accidentally touch my lips

I’d like to clop her chest

God – do you really care if I have leather shoes on – they have so much better support for vidui

I wonder if Friday night bia is still a mitzvah if Yom Kippur falls out on shabbos

I really want to get that dude doing a Ta’anis Dibbur to talk – maybe I’ll stick my tzitzis in his ear

What would happen if I started screaming and cursing out everyone during ne’illa (I think about this all the time)

Maybe I can pick up some chicks at yizkor

I hope that hottie isn’t wearing a sheitle

What are your most illicit thoughts on Yom Kippur?