My love/hate relationship with a thing called Sheitel

By Devorah Litvin

Lets be honest here ladies, Sheitels are the most annoying things created, and yet they are the most brilliant at the same time! Anyone who knows me will tell you that I love my wiggy very much, but when the wedding/ bris / bar mitzvah is over, that thing comes whipping off my head at the fastest speed, and is laid to rest in her own personal home sweet home otherwise known as a box in the corner of my closet.

Don’t get me wrong – tichels are fun, falls can be funky and hats are surprisingly practical when it comes to the winter, but lets face it girls, they all do so much damage to our hair! Our poor hair !!! They say “the crown of a woman is her hair” and yet they decide to make rules to make sure our pride and joy gets oppressed! For you MEN out there who are not aware of the trials and tribulations us chicks go through, I will try to shed some light. Your hair gets thin, it gets yanked, the color fades, it gets ZERO nutrients from lack of sunlight and has no shine, no luster and no body. Frizz becomes second nature and hat hair becomes permanent. It’s kind of like a catch 22 to make sure your hair is covered ALL the time. The rabbis say that Sheitels are better because women are less likely to take it off in public, but honey – have you ever SEEN a woman’s head of hair when she takes off a tichel??? Flat as a board and ugly as sin. Trust me, NOONE is taking off anything and most certainly NOT in public.

And so, my love / hate relationship with my Sheitel is very apparent. Her highlights are beautiful, she always makes me look good (better than I ever have) but at the end of the day she’s not me. If I had a dollar for every person who didn’t recognize me while I wore my wig, I can tell you I’d have enough moola to buy another wig ! Oh did I mention they’re about 3 grand for a good one??? But that’s for another blog J

My point is my friends, I decided to be positive and come up with my top reasons why I’d actually shockingly consider covering my hair full time. There are many many reasons why Sheitels and tichels totally kick tuchiss, and here are my top 7. One reason for every day of the week J

  1. My first realization came to me in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth and lo and behold, I got toothpaste in my hair. (I kid you not) And it hit me… if I wore my tichel (like a good frum girly) this would NOT be an issue !!!! So trust me when I tell you – Cover your hair with a tichel / doo rag, and you’ll never get toothpaste in your hair again!
  2. Time to be economically savvy: Cuts down on hair care products – and who needs designer shampoo when generic brands will do? So granted, the wig costs you 3 grand plus a $40 monthly maintenance wash and set fee but its sooo worth it in the long run right ?????
  3. Time Management: Getting ready for a wedding? No problem – throw on the wig and go! (statistically shown that prep time is cut down about 30 minutes of blow drying time)
  4. Time Management x2: Friday afternoon showers aren’t necessary anymore – who will realize anyway if your hair is wet or not? (a little deodorant, perfume and a wiggy and you’re off!)
  5. Glamour is an understatement: Frizzy hair? Not a problem! Become a “Hot Chanie” instantly!
  6. Obama got it right when he said Change has come to the USA — who knew it started with the sheitels? How about becoming a Blonde Marilyn for the day? Or go jet black….. or maybe Grace Adler red? Whatever suits your mood for that day … just remember YES WE CAN!
  7. And finally, my most important reason why I’d ever consider covering my hair full time: The greatest Advertising gimmick ever: “Shevy – G-d’s choice of wigs.”

Duby Litvin –

5 Pillars of Health