I met a guy recently who told me the following story, like most people I had to twist his arm to let me post it with everything changed so no one would ever know who it is, though for some reason people always thinking I’m talking about them. I will tell it in first person so it makes more sense.
While I was in grad-school and yeshiva one of my friends was paid by his parents to date. He was a very elligible bachelor who didn’t feel like dating, but when your parents offer you $300 to go out on a date and pay for the cost of a date, it’s hard to say no. He came from a rich family and naturally he took out very wealthy girls.
This story came up when this kid asked me if I had ever gone out on a yeshivish date where the father talks with you over candy and cookies that you aren’t supposed to touch, the mother comes in and says pleasantries and then you hear the heels on the hard floor and everyone turns to look at the girl. For the record, I have been on several shidduch dates as the one mentioned and I loved them all because it’s so interesting and the tension/awkward factor is through the roof.
Back to the story: My friend and I had similar stats, we learned in the same yeshivos, knew most of the same people and looked the same, so after being set up with this girl from (enter wealthy frum NY area place) we decided to pull a switch on the girl, my friend would get out of the date and I would make $150 and have this great story to tell to all of my friends.
Turns out the one of the girls parents was friendly with my one of my friends parents from back in the day so I had to learn the family history, what they did, where they were from and random facts. I show up at the house and the father is sitting there at this grand table filled with nosh, we start talking and he throws a curve ball, he tells me he was in Israel and he saw my friend from the Mir, you have to show confidence and since he didn’t mention a name I said “oh you mean Sruly, how’s he doing” the father replied that he didn’t think it was Sruly, but I told him it definitely was. He caved and said, he guesses he forgot his name.
I took the girl out on the date and had her and family convinced that I was my friend, all went well until my friend calls me up a couple years later and says those words you never want to hear from anyone “we have a big problem.” He says that the girl he is marrying not only knows the girl who we did this to, but that she is best friends with her and that if she knew this had ever went down – she wouldn’t marry him.
It turned out that we all met up at the wedding and the girl had no idea, like many older single girls she must have gone out with so many guys that they all blended together after a while.
This is not satire
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