Tisha B’Av pickup lines

I would love to see if any of you have ideas for this one, Jewish pickup lines are usually pretty easy to come up with. On succos you have lulav, on Rosh Hashanah you have the shofar and on Pesach you have the matzo and dipping – all very good things that have great sexual innuendo, but Tisha B’Av and the period of mourning that surrounds is just not that sexual, in fact I don’t even want to put up this post but I have yet to conquer my yetzer harah. Sure I can inundate you all with jokes about man meat and milchigs, but when it comes down to it, I really couldn’t figure out too many good pickup lines for the 3 weeks, 9 days and Tisha B’Av – although I am sure the brilliant minds reading this site could definitely add a few funny one’s to the list.

Tisha B’Av pickup lines

We can make our own live music together

I want to desecrate your holy of holies

How about a break-fast shower date

You smell great for someone who hasn’t showered since Rosh Chodesh

They never said anything about not sucking on meat for the nine days

Want to try some of my milchig treats?

We can use non-leather whips if you’re machmir on Tisha B’Av

You can lay siege on me anytime

I couldn’t help but notice you during eicha

We could do much more than sit on the floor

Hey babe, you can lament on my shoulder anytime

I’ll make you a personal siyum and give you some of my meat

Don’t worry I shave during the 3 weeks

Kinos isn’t the only thing that is could be long and drawn out

I’d like to make your fast day go by that much faster

You have room on that overturned milk crate for two?

You’re toes are looking real hot in those crocks

I’d like to unravel you like the eicha scroll