These posts are so much fun, mostly because they are plain old silly, but also because they really allow everyone to get in on the action. Create your own, throw them in the comments section and lets see if we can get some good laughs from this series.
Yo Momma’s such an apikores…
She goes to the mikvah with nail polish on
Her water filter has no hechsher
She uses toilet paper on shabbos
Her sheitle says “made in India” on it
She takes her sheitle off when going to the strip club
She uses tongue when she kisses a sefer that fell on the floor
She passes her husband the baby when she’s a niddah
She starts niggunim at the Shabbos table
She thinks that Yiddishkeit is only for windy days
She pulls a Sharon Stone when meeting yeshiva boys that come over to take her daughter
She sticks out her hand when people introduce themselves to her husband
She touches her husband in public
She thinks women should have rights
She makes jokes at the table about the crunch being from her unchecked leafy greens
She shaved a money sign into her sheitle
Instead of burning up her challah, she makes her kids little rolls with it
She uses bacon for besumin
She shows her knees and elbows
She takes off her sheitle in the middle of the pizza store and wipes her brow
She puts a sock on the door when it’s mikvah night or any other “mitzvah” night
She wears a snood with a two piece bikini at the beach
She works a couple of nights a week at the “club” to pay for her kid’s yeshiva tuition
She has a blog where she writes about her experiences
She uses her battery operated pleasure device on Shabbos — she doesn’t turn it on of course
She asks her husband if he wants the salt while he’s motioning for it after she washed
She starts threads on Calm Kallahs
She doesn’t daven with the minyan but she sleeps with one
She eats human meat during the nine days
She makes sure to cut cake letters on shabbos
She says the bracha zokef kefufim before turning her husband on
She gives 10% of her tzedaka box funds to tzedaka
She never makes a siyum on shas
She sits on the front of the bus
She’s a democrat
She was a member of Shaindy.com
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